1/7/23

OH, HECK WE ARE IN TROUBLE 

The mistress is home, and we have been caught out. She is NOT at all amused or happy. 

She even had the cheek to take photos of us all out to it. Our heads were hurting, and she just growled and growled. I reckon she may never trust us again. That will teach her for leaving me at home. We did leave her 1 bottle of wine and my guess is she won't be sharing it any time soon. Maybe I would say I don't feel like it and turn it down. 😂😂😂

On my bed

2 drunk fisherman

Well, the fun times are well and truly over. We did have lots of fun in the mistress's absence. She can go away as many times as she likes we say, because the telling-off we got was worth it, but for goodness's sake don't tell her this. Our heads still hurt at this late time of day, but we will get over it. 

Can you see we did try and tidy up, but difficult when one has had a few too many because we were all happy and laughing and couldn't control the jolly broom and shovel.

The stool was handy for us and only found this late last night in another cupboard. We had one on each stool foot and got it where we wanted it, and especially good for climbing on her bed. Then we passed out with exhaustion and very little sleep. I don't think anyone heard the garage door open either, so they were out cold too. 

Now the mistress told her neighbor to come over and have a look at the mess too and she was very shocked. We heard them talking. She just could not understand that we would do this to the mistress. 

It sounds like we better tread carefully.!!

Sounds like Loverboy is arriving tomorrow. Gosh, when will they get sick of each other? I hear too that he is looking after the chooks tonight and tomorrow because the lady is away. 

Thought for the day

Thanks to those who hurt me,

You made me a stronger person.

Thanks to those who loved me,

You made my heart bigger.

Thanks to those who cared,

You made me feel important.

Thanks to those who showed concern,

You let me know you care. 

Thanks to those who left.

You showed me that not everything is forever.

Thanks to those who stayed,

You showed me the true meaning of friendship.

Thanks to those who entered my life,

You helped me become the person, 

I AM TODAY

30/6/23

 We are having a great time here without the mistress. We have just about drunk all the grog and start on the fridge tonight. Getting up to the handle to open it could well be a mission. I am not sure the wheelbarrow will do this one. Maybe we will have to move a chair over. A tough job for a mere Gnome, or two. Oh well, that will keep us busy, and will need a drink or two to recover, then more to get the chair back so she will never know.

That Rainbow man suggested we get out into the garage tonight. Crickey who knows what is out there. I don't think I have ever been in the garage. So, watch this space. I shall keep you posted, and we may even find some more grog. 

Let's hope the Neighbours haven't heard us. No doubt they will tell her. Us Gnomes do a lot of hand signals, and our voices are not as loud as humans, so we should be safe. 

A couple of these fellas had very sore heads this morning. Not me though. I pace myself and need to teach the others to do the same.

So, I wonder what the mistress has been doing? She sure won't be telling me anything. I shall wait and observe on her return, whenever that is. It's been a bit chilly here without the heat pump on. We better not use the controls and anyway, they are too high for us, another chair job.

We have been keeping a watch out of her bedroom window to see what goes on around the place. People are stopping to talk again and a few cars roar by. The Postie, or Gnome on Wheels, which is what the Granddaughter calls them only stops at some letter boxes and not all. Goodness only knows why. Another complicated human issue that I need to find out. These other blokes here cannot get their heads around humans at all. It is a tough job for me to explain and I now teach them to read my books, because that is what the mistress taught me.

She is a wise woman at times you know, but don't you dare tell her this, as we don't want this information going to her head. It could give her an injury. 

Thought for the day

Sensitive people should be treasured.

They love deeply and think deeply about life.

They are loyal, honest, and true.

The simple things sometimes mean the most to them.

They don't need to change or harden.

Their purity makes them who they are.

 29/6/23

OMG, she has gone without me. How could she do this to me? I knew her head is in other places these days. I saw a large bag going out to the car, meaning who knows when she will return.

So, this surely means we have the house to ourselves. Yippeeeee. Oh, what fun. There was a mass crowd as soon as the garage door went down. The guys outside were banging on the door saying, "let us in".

Now getting up to the door lock is always a mission but the wheelbarrow fella came in handy when we could stack 5 fellas on top of each other and could just reach and with a few grunts and some bloke at the bottom, saying hurray up. 

Now I know there is some bubbly in the fridge, and we will investigate what else is in there that we could raid. The barrel man looked in the potato cupboard and found about 8 bottles, saving us from climbing up to the fridge. Whippee. Now we are right for a good old rip-roaring time. 

Those pin-pong balls were flying in all directions and landing amongst her crystals and some Gnomes at the window. Just as well the mistress cannot see all this activity and silly nonsense going on here. 

We lost a mate and couldn't find him anywhere. All was quiet while we looked and looked. He wasn't even under the mistress's bed either. While looking we found some strange cords and realized she has an electric bed. What luxury she has. No wonder sometimes she sits up in bed watching TV. I guess because she is retired, she deserves this. We won't complain though, but on second thoughts we could unplug it causing an uproar, whenever she decides to return home. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Anyway, back to the missing fella, now he was perched up at her bedroom window. He reckons he can see all sorts of things going on in this village. Some people stop and talk, some for ages, and others walk on by or drive by. There were strange bins outside so it must have been rubbish day. I don't recall the mistress putting any bins out. My guess is she had her head on other things today. 

I know.....she must have the love bug.

Thought for the day.

When we let fear be our master,

we can not be happy and free as a 

               BUTTERFLY

But when we choose to TRUST

the journey and embrace 

LOVE and JOY we are free to FLY

28/6/23

 It is rather interesting living here you know. Trixie is clicking on very quickly about these human species around here. She seems to see more things than me and often rocks my chair to catch my attention, then quickly points because we don't want the mistress to see what we are up to. It was farewell to lover boy this morning as he headed home so the mistress could tend to the 8 coming for morning tea. 

So, the van rolled in with these rather nice people. They were very interested in our holiday antics and stories. All appeared to enjoy themselves and had lots of laughs. Do you know they even said it's very healthy to laugh, and they are very pleased that our blogs can do this and entertain people. Now this is rather interesting for us Gnomes to know. I shall store this in my tiny brain for a future plan I have up my sleeve. But do not tell the mistress for goodness's sake.

I have just heard a conversation on the telephone. It appears she is going down to Loverboy's, tomorrow. What he has just left for goodness's sake. I wonder if she bothers to take me too. I want to see those chooks and chicks. I see she has found her gumboots, as I hear it's pretty muddy around the chook sheds. Oh well, we shall see what happens in the morning.

More news to report....the daughter made some flight bookings today so these 2 can have a holiday. I haven't yet heard where they are going. I shall keep my ears open and report later. OMG, I hope they are not eloping.

Thought for the day.

Life is just a path.

If you follow your heart, 

it will lead you in the right direction.

.................................................................

Everyone is gifted,

just open your package

.................................................................

I am the master of my fate.

I am the captain of my soul

 

27/6/23

Golly gosh there sure is a lot going on around here. Loverboy is still here, Trixie and I have observed that he really treats the mistress well. He dotes on her, and it's given me ideas and tips about my own life. These humans have a lot to teach us Gnomes, but some things are just not how we tick. 

Now while they sleep or go out, we are having a ball, and I noticed the mistress found one and put it in the wheelbarrow. She hasn't yet figured out that we left one out. Phew!! She must have other things on her mind!! That garage door always surprises us and catches us out doing what Gnomes do and we scarper as fast as our legs can take us. We are usually out of breath and gasping on getting back to our places.

The mistress doesn't normally notice because we reckon her mind is on other things, for example.....loverboy.

She has been a busy beaver, this morning, preparing for a group of 8 coming for morning tea tomorrow. Then this afternoon she baked some pinwheel scones for her friends around the corner and took her fella to meet them. 

The mistress is so fed up with this winter business. The days are so damp and cold here and she dreams of the weather we had while on holiday. She can see its even wetter than here on that jolly TV. Her family up there is fed up with the rain. Now she says the snow is coming to some parts and maybe not far from here. Brrr let's hope the power stays on. 

She has just looked at the numbers following the blog and now 8314. Crickey it just keeps climbing. It will be 10k in no time she reckons.

Thought for the day

Be patient. In this fast-paced world

we want everything to happen right away, 

but if you just let go and accept that things 

will happen when they are supposed to, 

life will go so much more smoothly.

25/6/23

Boy oh boy did we have fun last night. Some of the guys from outside came in to see what we were doing in here. We tossed the barrel man over and got stuck into his grog.  Balls were flying everywhere, and we were all having a great time. Mr Rainbow man kept watch out for the mistress waking up. He doesn't get into the alcohol at all so we can rely on him to let us know. 

More fun here when the mistress went out this morning. We checked the guys outside and tried to get out the gate but were blocked by that cop out there. Who does he think he is? He reckons that the people in the village would complain if we went walkabout. Oh well, we checked out the garden inside the gate, then went around the back to check if there were any more leaves down. That cop-out there, well he blew his whistle when the mistress arrived back, so a big panic to get back inside quick as. Some of my mates tripped getting in the door then some fell on top of each other. OMG what a scramble before the mistress entered the room, and some of us had to wait until she was out of the room before we tried to get to our places.

Loverboy arrived this afternoon. They are a cosey couple. We are waiting to see if they go out then we can have some more fun.  She made him some savory scones to have with his cupper. Looks like he liked them but asked where the jam was. Horror on her face as she announced they were Savoury scones with onion, cheese, herbs and garlic and since when do you put jam on these. Humans, I just don't understand them, and I doubt I ever will. 

I had a chat to Trixie here beside me and asked her what she thought about humans. She remains silent on this issue while she thinks about this.

Thought for the day.

Always follow your dreams. 

Even if it scares you a little, 

or others don't approve. 

Don't let this put you off- listen to your heart

first and foremost, and allow yourself to live

without regrets dragging you down.

24/6/23

What fun we had last night. There were ping-pong balls flying in all directions, including the mistress's bedroom and bathroom. Just as well she didn't wake up either or we could have been in real trouble.

That fella in the beer barrel tried to hide some of them and rolled about laughing. We reckoned he was pretty pickled and wasn't into sharing his drinks either. I am sure we will get into that barrel eventually.  

Now when the mistress went out this morning, we had another session. We never know when she will return so back to our places to discuss human behavior. Especially the human that lives here. These blokes have absolutely no idea of the psychology of this human. Their jaws dropped several times when discussing the things, I taught them. All our holiday I learned so much, especially when she was speeding at some stage, and got a ticket or two. They couldn't understand why and where this money goes. When I mentioned the government collects the revenue, well this was far too much information for their little minds, so no doubt more learning will take place. Then of course all the people's pets we looked after and all there sniffing around me. They also felt this was very rude. 

I hear the mistress is going out again shortly, so more fun for a couple of hours. She was also talking to that fella of hers again and even saw him on her phone. Ahhh, he is missing her. I heard him tell her this. Isn't love grand? It appears he is coming up here tomorrow for a few days.  I guess we will have to watch our p's and q's. I also heard them discuss what they will do when here, so more playtime for us when they go out.

The mistress and her friend went to a Craft Market today and sounds like they had lots of fun and really enjoyed it. She told me they met a lady who had self-published some children's books, plus some coloring and puzzle books. It appears they had quite a discussion and exchanged cards for the mistress to contact later.

Now she bought some pottery and later had a rather sad ending for this piece and dropped it. As it was for a gift, she was really disappointed but decided to go and purchase another. Now this amazing and lovely lady completely replaced it and gave her another free of charge. Now she reckons if it was anywhere else, she would have to pay again. This very kind lady deserves recognition as the mistress was more than happy to pay again. 

Katie Jenssen a ceramic artist. She is at the Craft market today and tomorrow.  It appears she really enjoys doing pottery and has her own lovely and unique style. This has restored the mistress's faith in human nature as others are out to rip people off. So, a High Five to Katie. Now the mistress is very proud of this young lady who has a heart of gold and her friend she was with thought the same.

Thought for the day

When my arms can't hug the people

in my heart,

I always hug them in my thoughts.

..................................................................

Happiness is not about getting what

you want all the time,

It's about loving what you have, 

and being grateful for it.

23/6/23

 The mistress was off out again this morning for a birthday morning tea. A bloke here in the village wanted to celebrate his birthday with a few people. Sounds like they all had lots of laughs and the place will have gone very quiet once they left. Gosh, they must have been a rowdy lot. I hear the mistress keeps him on his toes too. 

This afternoon she baked ready for Wednesday and the freezer, then a friend popped in for a natter and of course a cupper. She loved seeing our holiday pictures but didn't have time to see them all. She is one of several treasured friends who go back 30-plus years. 

Last night was hilarious again while the mistress slept, one fella was supposed to watch in case she got up, and just as well she doesn't turn the light on, because none of us were in our right places. The fella keeping watch decided to go and look for more ping pong balls. We had a wheelbarrow full of them because he found some in peculiar places. I hadn't had so much fun in ages either. We can't wait until tonight, so let's hope the mistress goes to bed early. 

There is no room here for a plant, making a great place for our pin-pong balls. I am sure we can sort this mistress out. These fellas had a lesson on human behavior last night. They were shocked I can tell you. They just stood there with their eyes and mouths wide open. There is so much more to learn about this human here and now we have just heard her talk to lover boy on the phone. Oh, you should have heard her. They appear to miss each other. Oh heck, gnomes don't carry on like this. Or should I say I haven't yet heard of this yet?

Now the numbers continue to rise rather rapidly on this blog. The count tonight......brace yourself......8153. 

The mistress is gobsmacked and really appreciates everyone who follows us. We say a big THANK YOU. So, we shall continue with our high jinks and report most days that we can.

Thought for the day

Practice gratitude in your everyday life.

When something goes well for you

A social get-together, a business meeting, 

a harmonious exchange with your teenager, 

Just say a quick thank you. 

It's right to be thankful,

and reminds us of the good in our life.

22/6/23

We are finally home again, and hey, I am bursting with news. During the night I found this chap in the boot and 2 more undercover all wrapped in paper, so that's 3 she bought yesterday. As you can see from the picture that big bloke has a wheelbarrow, and the fun we had jumping in and out of this thing. We ran round and round the grass and the dog on the property wondered what on earth we were doing. We couldn't reach the latch to let him out, so he just watched us running around. We went to see if there were any Gnomes in the lady's garden, but nope not one. The chickens gave out the odd chirp amongst the others who were sleeping. An odd egg rolled around too. There were some little baby chicks too and they apparently will start laying soon. All I can say is ouch. 😂😂😂

3 New fellas she bought yesterday.

The mistress went out for lunch for Volunteers Week and was put on by Age Concern. Sounds like she enjoyed it and saw people she knew plus met new people too. 

On the way home the mistress couldn't stand the car being so dirty. Country roads she says and drizzling with rain, plus the long driveway was full of potholes that she navigates very carefully. Our car almost gets lost in them if she can't avoid them. So, a car wash at the garage was also required. 

Now once we were home and the mistress was outside tending to the rubbish bin, the big bloke gave the little chap a quick ride around the lounge. It was hilarious, and I needed to fill him in on this human who lives here. We will talk more tonight once she is asleep. She nearly caught him not being where she left him too. Was a close shave I can tell you. She made him sweat a bit too. There is another fella with a large, tall hat. We want to know what is under it. He too won't tell us, so it will be high jinks tonight catching both of them.

My guess is the mistress will put a plant in the wheelbarrow. So, this could well be a problem for us as we want to play in it. Oh well, we might just toss it out I reckon.  So, watch this space!!

We have just noticed a huge bunch of flowers on the bench, with a card. I noticed a bouquet sitting in a bucket of water so that fella the mistress is seeing down in Tinwald must have given the mistress these. It appears from the nice card it must be LOVE!!

Thought for the day.

COURAGE doesn't always roar.

Sometimes courage is the quiet voice,  

at the end of the day saying,

"I will try again tomorrow".

 

 21/6/23

Today I have barely seen daylight. It appears this fella here plays golf on a Wednesday, and she didn't want him to miss seeing his mates. A good excuse to go shopping if you ask me. So off we went in the car, in the limited sunshine today. Now I have a feeling there might be a gnome in the boot, but I wasn't allowed to see him. Huh, I have got news for her, and tonight when all is quiet, I will investigate the boot because no parcels came inside the car. Now I heard the boot may have opened a few times and my guess is that it was payday yesterday, and possibly had a splurge.

It's been a rather interesting day really. I got to keep warm in the car and listen to people on the street talking and some crazy drivers roaring past. Now some of the conversations I nearly popped my head up at the window, but that would have been very rude of me.  If I find the fella in the boot, I will share what I heard with him only. Oh, it may be a her. Hmmm. I shall report next time. 

Now I hear we are heading back home tomorrow. It has been a nice change for me being down here in Ash Vagus. There is a very nosey and cute dog who visits us from time to time. I see the mistress patting and talking to him at times, and he is always sniffing her and the car. Anybody would think that we stunk, what a jolly cheek. Doesn't he have manners? 

Its not raining as yet and we might investigate the garden over Yonda and see if there are any Gnomes. I might be able to teach them a thing or two about humans. We might even go and see these chooks in the shed, as there are baby ones too. I heard the mistress tell her fella she would bring her gumboots the next visit. She wants to see what happens around here. I also know that these boots haven't had any use since the Earthquakes. That was a long time ago and I do remember rocking and rolling all around the place and lots of things crashed to the floor. Awe they were not at all happy about the mess.

Thought for the day.

Destiny decides who touches your life.

Your heart decides who touches your soul.

 20/6/23

Well, last night I was shoved in a bag and plonked in the car. I couldn't see a thing. I couldn't even read for goodness' sake. It appears the mistress had a meeting last night, then we traveled some distance, I might add. It was pitch black and raining most of the way. I could hear the mistress moaning about turning the wipers on and off. 

Now it's just as well the mistress sorted the Right front Tyre yesterday morning. It appears there was a screw that went in and it's believed that Christchurch knows how to charge if it was Ashburton, it would have been half-price. They saw her coming they reckon. Why do they rip off females I wonder. The mistress is far from impressed. My guess is they won't get her custom in the future.

So today we did some visiting and they even shared their drinks with me. Nice people they were and pleased to meet me. They appeared to all laugh a lot, but I guess that is ok. 

There are a lot of chooks around this place down here, about 2500 she says. This fella keeps her supplied with eggs. So she bakes some very interesting muffins for him. This week they are Raspberry/chocolate. The mistress's friend from the village arrived as they were coming out of the oven. Crickey, she made heaps and heaps. She stocks the freezer as people from Age Concern are coming again next week. So of course, they had to do a productivity test to check on quality control. For goodness' sake, does this mean she doesn't trust herself to bake the right recipe? The friend sure enjoyed them and got a couple to take home.

Hey, something else happened here today. This fella bought some flowers for my mistress. She was most impressed. The key to her heart I reckon. 

Now you want to see her car. It's extremely dirty. She says no point in cleaning it when coming down here as there is mud everywhere. I hope she does this when we get home.  I better watch my p's and q's or she will have me out there helping, so I might run away that day because I dislike water. 

Thought for the day.

KINDNESS is a currency that,

never loses its value. Share it generously,

and watch as it multiplies into a world,

of love, compassion, and hope.

 18/6/23

Another bleak day of weather here today. The mistress is sick of the cold these days and says roll on spring.

Last night my mates all gathered around for another session with the ping pong balls. We are still trying to catch the new bloke, but he didn't want to play. He said he had a headache!! I bet he has something stashed under that hat that is heavy and no wonder he has a headache.

The mistress took me out to Darfield for lunch with the Relies. They have an almost 4-year-old and jeepers, she never stops running. She keeps her parents on their toes with her demands and heck you want to hear all the noise she makes. 

At Darfield with the Relies. 

She liked playing ball with her dad but when things didn't go right jeepers, she screamed. I reckon her neighbors would have heard. Even the cats know better now and hide from her. I don't blame them at all. They are very wise if you ask me. I wasn't allowed to hide, because my mistress wanted me to see her and all her antics. 

On the way home we called into her friend's place around the corner, as the mistress wanted to check up on them, as sometimes they are not at all well. I hear that the fella there makes a good cup of tea and likes giving his little dog a piece of his biscuit. He sure gets into trouble for this though.  

 

Thought for the day

Love is what we are born with.

Fear is what we have learned here.

The spiritual journey is unlearning fear,

and the acceptance of love back

into our hearts.

 17/6/23

The mistress was up early again which meant she must be going out. My mates called a meeting overnight and talked about what we would do the next time she went out. So as soon as the garage door closed, we got straight into our prepared plans. There are some pin-pong balls around here that cats play with, so we sure had high jinks. They were going in all directions which I shan't mention here for obvious.

Now we are also trying to get that new fellas hat off to see what is underneath. He is a fast cookie and gets away from us and hides. We will get him I can promise you. We just have to come up with a better method I reckon. The fella in the barrel wants to trip him up with his foot, but the stupid fella needs to jump out of the barrel first. He is so dumb or intoxicated that he didn't realize this. Duhh.

The texts and phone calls continue around here, keeping me in suspense. She is pretty secretive you know when she wants to be. We shall have to study him next time he visits. In the meantime, we will have to look up the Male human species and see what makes them tick. I am reliably informed they are quite different from the female version. This duck shooting, he is into sounds so crazy to me. Those ducks don't stand a chance they reckon. No doubt we will hear the outcome at a later date.

There has been a tidy-up around here this afternoon as some village ladies are coming here for a meeting. It appears the mistress is now on the Body Corp committee, so we shall observe what exactly a human meeting is. I suspect quite different from a gnome meeting. I thought she had enough on her plate around here. 

Later....Well, these ladies turned up, Crickey one was on a crutch. All they did was yack and yack then they were gone. Poof vanished!! 

Thought for the day

Repeat the question over and over.

Write or speak each of your answers aloud.

Remain constructive and positive.

The phrase, "I am the one who..." will lead you to a new 

perception of yourself.

Perhaps you will answer the next question,

"Why am I here?"

Today I will deepen my self-awareness by

answering the question, 

"Who am I?"

Discover new aspects of yourself and voice them. 

Glimpse your true self and your purpose in life.

 16/6/23

There is a lot of texting going on around here. I have not known the mistress to be so active on her phone. I bet it is her fella as she is often laughing to herself. She even saw him on her phone last night. This technology is beyond me. 

She went out this morning and announced she wouldn't be long. It appears her eyes are not doing their job and needed them checked. Sure enough, she now has to see the specialist and have some laser treatment. One eye has some junk on the Len's she says. Gosh, she might see too much after this. This could be a real problem for us because some of us don't always make it to our possies and have to wait until she is not looking. There have been a few narrow squeaks at times. It's a tough life being a Gnome around here you know. 

This afternoon we heard her outside scratching the concrete. Whatever for I ask. She says there are lots of leaves off the Neighbour's tree and they looked awful. What she doesn't realize is my mates like playing in those leaves. So, she has now spoiled their fun. The mistress likes the place to be tidy, especially for the oldies that come to visit and have a natter with a cupper. 

She was making a Hur of a noise I can tell you. It must have been very cold out there as she even put a coat on. It's a pity she didn't leave her coat for the fellas in the pool. They have done more ice skating in recent days and some even came a cropper.

The old Auntie has been in the wars again. She came a cropper while hanging the washing and now it hurts to laugh. Ouch cracked ribs I hear. This Auntie has a lot of falls you know. This old age is no fun at all she says. Now that Uncle of hers wants a scooter. I could do with one of those you know. The local postie here has a special scooter and boy they race along quite fast. I hope he knows what he is doing because I hear the mistress's mother had one too, and sometimes she was quite naughty, but as she was a female human, they think they know it all. We, fellas, wouldn't dream of misbehaving. The granddaughter says the posties are Gnomes on wheels as they wear hats, but are yellow.

The mistress has just had one of those special phone calls where she can see this bloke. Blowing kisses, oh yuk, what next.

Now she is going out tonight, to some dance and promised to behave herself to this fella. He is now down south ready to duck shoot tomorrow. How cruel I say. What the heck are they going to do with these so-called dead ducks I want to know. The mistress says they have to shoot correctly, or the duck gets away. It appears they will cook and eat them. What a strange thing this is. A mere Gnome has never heard of such a crazy thing.

15/6/23

Just as well the mistress didn't wake up last night. Some of these fellas here decided to have high jinks with the new addition here. We needed to teach him a few lessons about this human that lives here. I think he is now quite frightened of her. Jolly good we say. That hat he is wearing is so stupid, and he won't tell us what it is underneath. So, we have a plan and are sure we will find out.

The mistress was up early again as it was patrol day in the community. She likes to be organized and advised us she would be out for several hours. Great we can carry on getting to this fella's hat. He is a fast runner you know and boy some of us are not at all fit. 

As usual, we wait for the garage door to open and run back to our places, coughing, spluttering, and gasping for breath. The mistress didn't notice the fella on the TV cabinet was lying down when she walked past. Poor Joker needed mouth-to-mouth, and the fella and lady that were beside him obliged.

Now I can see over the mistress's shoulder at times and she gets some very interesting texts from that fella who stays here at times. I can't tell you what he is saying because that would be worth more than my life. I believe that the fella is going duck shooting and could decide to have target practice.

The mistress announced that petrol was cheap today where they patrolled and a lot of cars pulled in to fill up, and she saw cheap bananas at another place. Some hooded young fellas with masks bought fish and chips for lunch and behaved themselves and just as well or they would have been on to them. She sees all sorts of things out in this big wide world. She also said some street gutters could do with a clean too. Gosh, I wonder who would do this. Hey, she didn't drive today. I recall what she did last time. It appears their vehicle was at the panel beaters. I reckon that colleague valued his life if you ask me. Shh don't tell her this.

I am really worried about those fellas outside almost naked. We have had some nasty frosts, but this human here isn't at all interested in my concerns. How cruel I say. She is so mean you know. Ice was on the pool yesterday and all she can say it is their problem. That they should not have thrown their clothes away. 

Jeepers she has just had a phone call from her fella, and they could see each other. What next, I say. It appears they haven't done this before. They even blew kisses to each other. Yukky. You don't see us Gnomes carrying on like this. I was duly told to mind MMOBB.

14/6/23

Well, I can report that we all had a ball here while the mistress was away. I shan't be divulging on here either, because that mistress doesn't need to know. Sometimes I get into trouble you know. She can be pretty mean when she wants to. I get some privileges taken off me too like the Granddaughter. Why do these women need to be so mean I wonder. 

The mistress arrived back from goodness only knows where. Jumping to attention as soon as that garage door is activated, and all is quiet here. None of us were out of place either, and, our Gnome jokes soon came to a screeching halt. 

Now I reckon there will be more trips away too because I heard her on the phone, and if I play my cards right, this fella goes fishing and they are planning on taking that caravan of his when the weather warms up. The mistress thinks a good book is a good idea and her word search books will come in handy. She hasn't done too many of these lately, and I wonder why.?😂😂😂😂

That fella is messing with her head I reckon. But she still appears very happy, so I won't complain.'

He took her to Geraldine yesterday and had lunch and couldn't resist looking at a particular shop and guess what?

She found this new friend for us.

It appears he prefers to not like seeing this fella. Or maybe he is feeling cold these days. I wonder who the flowers are for? and what does he hide under that hat, as he won't tell me? Surely his head isn't that big. I reckon he has been cloned with something...hehehe but don't tell him for goodness' sake.

Thought for the day

Kindness is helping the world, 

one person at a time.

12/5/23 

The mistress has been in and out of here like a ping-pong ball. I simply get dizzy just thinking about it. The thing is where does she go I wonder. She has just announced that she will be out of town tonight until Wednesday. She didn't ask me I might add..... This fella was here yesterday and still here this morning too you know. As long as they are happy, and my observation looks like they are. She just said it's none of my business anyway, but hey I live here too you know. Oh, it's a tough life being a mere Gnome around here.

I reckon she is going to see her fella until Wednesday, as I am not allowed to go. That suits me greatly. We shall all have a ball around here and will not discuss what we get up to either. So, we will all be in our places when the garage opens up on Wednesday. She even has a meeting before she leaves town tonight. 

Thought for the day.

Kindness makes you the most 

Beautiful 

person in the world,

no matter what you look like.

 10/6 - 11/6/23

Boy, we had some fun this afternoon while the mistress was out. It was quite peaceful really as we knew she would be away for a while as had to go to Lincoln, a bit further to travel. So, we had a ball here and took off outside for a while to see the fellas in the pool and the chaps on the BBQ. They cooked for everyone as a couple had been fishing and caught a couple too. Now this is not a tall fishy story either, it is very true. They did try to catch some others but were just too hard to get. We even had a guard watching out for the mistress returning. Jeepers she was late back, flew in the door at 5pm and out the door at 5 15pm.

She had Police training for the Community Patrol and told me it was hilarious. A senior Policeman in Uniform gave her a black dog toy and a big kiss. Golly gosh the things this woman gets up to. -

The policeman kissed the mistress!!

I was allowed to go with her tonight, how amazing is that. She went Ten Pin Bowling with some friends and then for a cupper afterward.

There were all sorts of people down there. Huge and giant balls were thrown down the track to knock out the Skittles at the end. Crickey some of the chaps had very strong arms and the balls were like racing cars in top gear. Others for example my mistress well she needs to learn how to play this game. Most of hers went in the gutter, and a huge clap when she managed to knock a good lot down. One smart cookie said she needs to practice more. I fully agreed with him. But then he did a few gutters too, so she told him the same.

Can you find me?

Waiting on our hot drinks 

Now listen to this. As soon as we arrived home, she gets some cozy texts and then a phone call, she tried to talk quietly so I wouldn't hear. I tell you she is up to something this woman. 

Now I knew something was going on here. There is a bloke who visits here and is still here in the morning. He checks me out from time to time too. It appears the 2 of them get on extremely well I might add. Lots of laughter goes on and that mistress is always cracking jokes which appear to tickle his fancy. He has got a bit of a limp from what I can see. They are so happy together and this must be the texts that go backwards and forwards. You see my instincts and vibes are the same as hers I reckon. I knew something was going on here. 

There are no flies on me!!  😂😂😂😂

I shall keep you informed, so watch this space!!

Thought for the day

Set aside time, make yourself comfortable, and turn up the 

music and really listen. Use headphones to really lose

yourself in the music without disturbing anyone.

Let music enter your soul and open yourself to this rich experience.

Today I will feed my soul with music to lift my spirits.

Music inspires, soothes, and energizes. Music guides you to reflection, reminiscence, and daydreams. Music fills you with

energy, enthusiasm, and optimism.

Music heals the soul.

 9/6/23

Now this Trixie sitting here beside me is an interesting character. I reckon we have a lot to teach other and a lot in common. She appears to have a lot of knowledge about all sorts of things and is interested in hearing my stories about my holiday with the mistress. If we play our cards right, I think she could come on holiday next time. Gosh, don't tell the mistress. I will get around her for sure. I shall just wait for the right opportunity.

The mistress is up to all sorts of mischief today. All day she was here one minute and out the next. Same again tonight. She is even getting some very interesting phone calls at times. I won't fill you in yet in case I am wrong and that wouldn't be good. 

I have also noted that there is no four-legged furry friend here yet. Now this was going to happen when she came home from Waimate. Mmmmm I wonder why? More clues mounting. 

Trixie agrees with me. I guess because she is a female Gnome she has the mistress well and truly sorted. So, between the 2 of us, we are now on the same page. I can't wait to report on our findings.

So, watch this space. 

 8/5/23

Gosh, it is great to be home again. Catching up with my Gnome family has been amazing. Don't tell the mistress but we had a ball overnight down on the floor, a few bevies from the barrel, and great high jinks. The mistress was in a dreamland and a mate kept a watch out for us, as she gets up from time to time. When she does this, she never sees us because we hide and in her sleepy state doesn't realize we are not in our places. Thank goodness she doesn't turn a light on. It appears she can see in the dark. Now that is weird if you ask me. Humans, I don't know. There is a lot to teach my mates and the things I have learned the past week. 

This apologizing business is so new for a mere Gnome to get my head around. Trixie, now she's a wise woman you know. It appears she always sat in the bedroom window and kept an eye on our village. She agreed with the mistress about apologizing. Oh heck is this more female human stuff! I reckon she could gang up on me, and I am not sure that I want to sit beside her now. It appears as they get older, things become weirder. Well, that so-called friend in Waimate, needs to learn more about packing me in a box. I am not accustomed to being treated in this way. If Bear was a passenger, then why wasn't I?

The mistress and I traveled a lot of buses while we were away. So what the heck is different here. I used to sit in the driver's seat at times causing much laughter and fun. I got a short sharp shift too!!

So, this box business, she didn't even poke holes for me to breathe. How would she like this to be done to her? That ex-school teacher son of hers hasn't taught her much I say. 

Now today the mistress has been confined to home. So, we all had to stay in our places. She has been on that computer a lot and still looking for an illustrator for her books. The daughter wants more quotes, so she has to do as she is told. Crickey daughter teaching her mother. This could get interesting. I wonder if the daughter's daughter teaches her anything. I bet she does I say. At almost 10 years old they usually are very vocal!!😂😂😂😂

I hear she had her mother on yesterday, said she was sick, but by all accounts, she had options. Go to the doctor, stay in bed all day with no devices, or go to school. She chose to stay in bed the whole day. Gosh, how boring is that? I would have gone to school, as the day would go faster, I reckon. She has a huge cat named Horse, who probably kept her company as they are great mates. He is a big lump as he sat on my mistress's knee when we visited. He took up the whole space too and was very heavy. 

Oh, that was a great holiday too. I shall ponder on these memories for the rest of the day and tell Trixie about it too. I hope she can come with us next time.

 7/6/23

I'm HOME

This kind lady called Elizbeth; well, she was quite happy for me to stay here really. You see, she thought I could teach her Gnome a thing or two about these strange humans. She has a nice house and garden where I spent lots of time outside and kept checking that the fish hadn't been swiped by the neighbor's cat. He always looked as if he could do with a feed, as he licked his lips many times. He even looked at me and kept on walking and just as well because he causes me to be anxious as he sniffs and snorts on his way past me.

Well, the neighbor here went to school and the same class as my mistress. They even got called each other's names as if they were twins. Crickey they are old girls now I say. And Elizabeth is even much older than these two. Jeepersssss that's really old!!!!!

A Gnome never discusses their age. It's Gnome business only.

I wonder if her son has taught her anymore about life? 

Now the indignity of it all. I'm being put in a box to go home. I asked why I could not go on the Inter City coach like the bear did only to be told the bear was a passenger. Just when I was beginning to take a liking to Elizabeth, she is going to shove me in a box, and I thought she was a Gnome friend...........mmmmm. Tomorrow is posting day. Sending shivers down my spine it does. However, she has promised not to put me in there until the last minute and I should be home no later than 2 days. If I behave, she will overnight me......I ask you....... I thought it was another night here but am informed I will sleep most of my travels away and be home before I know it. 

Oh well, that will teach me not to yell at the mistress as she walked out the door. 

Tell me, how is a Gnome meant to breathe in that stuffy box? She had packed stuff up my nose around my eyes and everywhere else and in between. It appears she didn't want me to break, break........oh then I would get laid to rest like the mistress's mother. You know get planted in the ground I mean. Now that really would be sad. I would miss the mistress and my mates. 

Arrh being put in a box

I can't even read in this horrible box.  Not enough air in there I am sure to die.

Oh heck now we are moving, and I can't see a thing. What's happening to me? I hear people talking then I get tossed somewhere. 

Moving, again and I hear a motor going and more people talking and the radio blasting out with a shocking noise. Help....help. Watch it I am in here. What on earth happened then. Felt like someone plonked or thrown down on me. I am precious cargo you know. Didn't that Elizabeth woman put me into the precious cargo department? It sure doesn't feel like it. 

How can I meditate or visualize when all this turmoil is going on. Oh, I wish I was home. That mistress is in big trouble. I can't trust her to remember me if she ever puts me in her car again and take me somewhere, then put me in the car again. She has sure broken my trust and I doubt I will ever get over this. I might need some counseling for PTSD. 

I am on the move again and hear a doorbell. 

Yippeeee your back Winkle, oh it's the mistress's voice I hear. 

Help get me out of here I can't breathe

That woman shoved me into this box

How dare she.

Get me out of here, quick I can't breathe. Oh, she is taking her time. For goodness' sake hurry up woman. A bloke needs to breathe. I need the scissors, she announces, what on earth for I ask. Just be patient. Arrhh I have lost my patients now get on with opening this jolly box. 

Well, she takes her time and suddenly the box burst open. Hello, she says, and welcome home. How dare you leave me down in Waimate. How could you forget to take me home with you?  Look she says I just did. Everyone makes mistakes she announces. What I don't for goodness's sake. I am perfect and you should know this. Absolutely not she says.  You wouldn't wash while we were away, and I could smell your BO every day. I should have left you on the side of the road to find your own way home. 

Oh gee, I really do need counseling. The mistress has given me a huge headache now. So, we have both made mistakes and now she has just asked me to forgive her......!!!!

This mistress has just given me a big cuddle and apologized to me. Then she announced she has a surprise for me. Awe I like surprises.

She put me on the shelf where I normally sit and there is a woman Gnome sitting beside me. What's your name I ask? Trixie, she says. Nice to meet you. 

Who on earth is this for goodness sake?

At long last I am home. I never want to go through this again. Trixie, you wouldn't believe what I have been through to get back home, but I am sure glad you are sitting beside me now. I reckon we will get on really well sitting here. I will teach you all about female humans. They are all trouble I say. Strange things go on in this house and I shall fill you in later when the mistress goes to bed. Sounds like fun she announces. I would use a different word I feel.

6/6/23

Why hasn't someone sent out a search party, Because I am lost. This is so not fair at all and just wait until I see that mistress. She is in real trouble now if I ever get home. If only she knew how I feel about being abandoned. I cannot see in this box as it is so dark in here and paper stuff is all around me. Oh, please come and find me, as I am so sad and extremely lonely.  I just want to go home, pleeease. 

This visualization is all very well, but I can't do this when I am stressed like this, and I know the mistress will say that is the best time as it eases the sadness and increases my chances of a positive outcome.

She is a very wise lady and seems to know a thing or two these days. She would also say to meditate on what I want to see. This process helps to keep calm when going through stormy waters like this. I can't do this either, and I know I should, but I am far too sad today.

Going to sleep passes the time then someone tosses me around and then I wake up with a real fright. Today I heard a motor and a fella talking. What is he saying I wonder. Is this the postie??

Will he take me home today? Oh please I do hope so.

Thought for the day

Life is not the way it's supposed to be.

It's the way it is.

The way you cope with it,

is what makes a difference. 

 

5/6/23

Where the heck am I, nobody has sent out a search party yet, or if they have, they are looking in the wrong place. Oh, I am so lost. I miss my mistress terribly. Nobody can even hear me, or nobody is listening. I wish I was back home. That lady in Waimate said the postie would take me home. She is so wrong; I am not her friend anymore.

I wonder what my mistress is doing today. She could be up to no good you know. She doesn't tell me everything, but I usually find out eventually. If I ever get home then I am sure my mates will fill me in.

I must visualize. Visualize arriving home soon to my mistress. I hope she will be pleased to see me. Visualizing now is not always easy to do but will empty my head first and see what happens. She makes it sound so easy to do. She also talks about having a dream. I will dream that I am home in my special place on the shelf.

Oh, I so wish I was home. How many more days do I have to wait for someone to find me. Oh, please can someone find me. Do you think she will spoil me when I eventually get home? I sure hope that the mistress is missing me. 

Visualize, think positive, meditate, oh this is so hard for me.

Thought for the day

Do you compare yourself to other people?

Do you rank yourself better or worse than others

according to your appearance, your job,

your possessions, your friends your talents and skills

your gender, or intelligence?

Today I will treasure myself as a unique soul.

Most of the focus on our imperfections.

As a reaction, and to protect themselves, 

we transform these feelings of inadequacy

into the belief that we are better than everyone else.

In truth, we are all equally valuable.

Override your doubts and insecurities.

Repeatedly affirm today that you are unique,

there is no one like you.