15/6/23

Just as well the mistress didn't wake up last night. Some of these fellas here decided to have high jinks with the new addition here. We needed to teach him a few lessons about this human that lives here. I think he is now quite frightened of her. Jolly good we say. That hat he is wearing is so stupid, and he won't tell us what it is underneath. So, we have a plan and are sure we will find out.

The mistress was up early again as it was patrol day in the community. She likes to be organized and advised us she would be out for several hours. Great we can carry on getting to this fella's hat. He is a fast runner you know and boy some of us are not at all fit. 

As usual, we wait for the garage door to open and run back to our places, coughing, spluttering, and gasping for breath. The mistress didn't notice the fella on the TV cabinet was lying down when she walked past. Poor Joker needed mouth-to-mouth, and the fella and lady that were beside him obliged.

Now I can see over the mistress's shoulder at times and she gets some very interesting texts from that fella who stays here at times. I can't tell you what he is saying because that would be worth more than my life. I believe that the fella is going duck shooting and could decide to have target practice.

The mistress announced that petrol was cheap today where they patrolled and a lot of cars pulled in to fill up, and she saw cheap bananas at another place. Some hooded young fellas with masks bought fish and chips for lunch and behaved themselves and just as well or they would have been on to them. She sees all sorts of things out in this big wide world. She also said some street gutters could do with a clean too. Gosh, I wonder who would do this. Hey, she didn't drive today. I recall what she did last time. It appears their vehicle was at the panel beaters. I reckon that colleague valued his life if you ask me. Shh don't tell her this.

I am really worried about those fellas outside almost naked. We have had some nasty frosts, but this human here isn't at all interested in my concerns. How cruel I say. She is so mean you know. Ice was on the pool yesterday and all she can say it is their problem. That they should not have thrown their clothes away. 

Jeepers she has just had a phone call from her fella, and they could see each other. What next, I say. It appears they haven't done this before. They even blew kisses to each other. Yukky. You don't see us Gnomes carrying on like this. I was duly told to mind MMOBB.