30/9/23

Grr, I am typing away here, then poof, it all disappeared. 

The Mistress has been a busy beaver today, doing housework, packing food, packing clothes, and oh, yes her many pills. Getting ready for our holiday in New Brighton seems to be a busy time. I noted she did sit down from time to time to rest that leg. His Lordship will be very pleased about this, I am sure. I see notes on the bench, is her mind that much of a problem? 

She got a phone call this morning from a neighbor to say another neighbor close to the mistress hadn't opened her curtains. Crickey, she did move very fast, out the door. It appears the Rugby was on and the sun was shining on the TV, so she closed her curtains. Gee, they certainly look out for each other here. This neighbor was grateful as she had recently broken her hip.

Through the week and especially today the Mistress had a feeling, that His Lordship would come up today. Again, she was right. He texts her after Golf and said he was on his way. She rallied around and found some sausages in the freezer and decided he did like braised sausages, so she proceeded to prepare some vegetables. He is not known for eating many of these. 

So, while the Mistress was resting her foot, His Lordship wandered to her where she sat in her chair and tapped on the window. A mighty jump happened, and she opened the door. She left the other one open for him, but no he wanted in the ranch slider. Rising very quickly and eager to see him she greeted him with a generous hug. They sure miss each other these two. Crickey he only left on Wednesday you know. It appears to be love. Cor Blimey!!  

 29/9/23

I went out with the Mistress today. She packed me in her bag and off we went. Her friend from another country called Ukraine wanted to learn how to make Savoury Scones.

First of all, we had to check out their 10-month-old little girl. Now she is a live wire and crawls everywhere and very fast too. The last time we saw her she was trying to crawl and couldn't quite make it. The Mistress adores these little people and lots of baby chatter going on. Her dad crawls too and hides from her and she finds him. High Jinx all around. I reckon my Gnome friends and I should try hiding from each other. This could be so much fun. These people taught me something today. Now Crickey I hope she doesn't wake from the noise.

Time to make the scones. I was placed on the window ledge to watch, but I needed to be closer to the action and demanded to go down onto the bench. I thought the Mistress was pretty switched on and placed me on the flour container for a better view. Much better I say. 

Needed a closer look. 

All sorts of things went into this big bowl. This is so cool being right at the action. I am never allowed this close at home, so I shall drop some hints. 

Gee, this lady learns very quickly. 

Now she is getting the bench ready with flour on it and then she dumps the lot on it. Strange if you ask me. It is supposed to go in the oven, not the bench, but I heard the Mistress tell her to do this. Weird humans if you ask me. Oh, then she pats the mixture, then cuts each one, and places it on the tray. Gosh, this is going to make heaps, but this young lady wanted to freeze some.

Already to cook. 

Once they were cooked this lady made a cup of tea and they had scones for lunch. The Mistress said yummy, and the young couple said this too. They said that salt would have been good to add for next time. The recipe was written in her book for future use. 

Time to go and see more of their family. This lady's hubby comes from a different country, Palestine.

The Mistress enjoys the elderly parent's company. There are always lots of laughs despite the language barrier. She was given a broken Angel to fix and keep. The Mistress loves Angels and delights to fix it and add to her collection of other Angels in her garden. Now don't tell her this but I reckon His Lordship might get this job. I could be wrong, but I guess time will tell, so watch this space.

On the way home the Mistress decided to get fish and chips for dinner, although was a bit early for dinner she doesn't like going out again once she is home. 

Love is in the air here tonight, as they are missing each other. I guess, Wednesday was a while ago, especially when you miss someone!!

 28/9/23

Jeepers the mistress is in another summer outfit today. Looking outside doesn't give me the feeling that it is warm out there. It appears she is going out with her friend to Leeston. My guess is I am staying at home. Oh well, what is new here. 

A couple of us went out to the garage to see how this Gnome painting was getting on. Cor blimey, simply nothing since the last time I looked. I wonder when she plans on finishing these poor chaps who told me they would rather be outside and if she didn't get a wriggle on then they would head outside themselves. There is still a fella in the bucket soaking and waiting to be cleaned. He told me he has been soaking for several days now and lost count as to how many days. Crickey, I hope he doesn't drown. I can see me poking a hole in the side of it to let the water out. I shall give her one more day to sort this or I will. 

Now I have heard several conversations around here about going over to New Brighton for a month while the family is on holiday. They have a huge black cat who needs TLC. So, what about us here on the shelf. I wonder if we get to go with her. A month is a very long time. 

It appears His Lordship is going over there too. Well, if this is so then I am too, and Trixie. It appears they are house-sitting like we did on our holiday. Now this was fun and watching this cat could be quite entertaining. I also hear this house is lovely, so this too is a bonus. There is water on both sides of this house. I hope she remembers my dislike of water. I shall remind her if I see this happening. Now earthquakes are very common over that way. The February 2011 quake was centered off New Brighton and the aftershocks are still happening from time to time. Oh, my goodness I wasn't impressed with those quakes at all. I hope she knows what she is getting into here. There is only one way in and out of this street, and if there is a tsunami well, we could be history. 

 27/9/23

Well, His Lordship eventually departed this morning. No Golf today due to maintenance, but he had chores to do. The Mistress is not at all amused at the rain today as she prefers the sunshine. 

Now as usual she goes out without saying how long she will be. I checked out the bathroom and saw the fella sitting on the toilet. He is still totally naked. Looks like he is in no hurry to find his clothes. Now it is not at all right that he remains nude. Now what would happen if I stripped off my clothes and remained nude on my shelf. The visitors who come here would be totally shocked that is for shaw. The Mistress said that the door was mostly closed and that it was his problem and for me not to worry about other fellas' problems.

When the Mistress came home, I had to look twice. What on earth has happened. Crickey did she get a fright somewhere because her hair has fallen off. She looked happy, but what was going on here. When she turned around, hardly any hair was at the back of her head. The Mistress asked if I liked her new hairdo? What could I say? I felt that it had to be a positive comment as she could get a bit techy otherwise. Oh, oh, umm, great I said. I reckon she is almost bald and needs to cover her head with a hat until it grows. Now she could be offended here so I think it's best to keep my opinions to myself. I need to keep in her good books I feel. 

Those fellas in the pool are a bit chilly, but they say if they stay underwater, it is warmer than on top. Now that sounds very strange to me.

26/9/23

Shopping Day here. The Mistress announced its payday, so off they went.  His Lordship has the muscles to carry her bags in because she still can't walk properly. The Physio worked her magic and it's obvious that last Monday at her friend's house she injured the same Achilles but further up the leg. 

Now this bloke here has been very busy doing jobs for the mistress. She reckons he has to earn his keep if he stays here at times. I even noticed he enjoys driving her car at times too.  Golf day tomorrow so I guess he will head home in the morning. He has a new temporary place to stay in his caravan now and the Mistress enjoyed listening to the owls early in the morning.  There were magpies too, but she says they are common, and she hadn't heard of owls before.

Now while they were out this morning, we went to check on our mates outside again. These chaps certainly got up to some mischief. Especially overnight from what I hear, but I am not divulging anything here because this is Gnome business only. I have been sworn to secrecy here. I reckon I might just go outside when these two go to sleep and take part in a very private activity.

The Mistress has had this fella here climbing ladders today. Now he is not good on his feet either, but he had to change a lightbulb and then another climb up to the shower fan that takes the steam away and clear its vent. She thinks it will be kinder on the power account now. Humans, I really just don't know, they are so strange. All these weird things they do. 

The mistress cooked up a storm tonight. All kinds of smells wafted across my way. His Lordship certainly enjoyed his and went back for seconds. Chicken Chow Mein. She got him to try a fruit that he had never heard of, but they are her favorite. Lychees. He ate them but wouldn't rave about them. 

 

22/9/23-23/9/23=25/9/23

Now I am sure there are Gremlins or Elves hiding inside this computer. Yesterday I was typing away happily enjoying what I was doing when poof I lost the lot. Then if that wasn't enough suddenly there was a knock at the door, and guess who arrived. So that was the end of the mistress helping me out and getting the computer going again. She of course was delighted with this surprise and to see her man standing in the pouring rain. 

He really does surprise her often as I recall. 

 Well, all sorts of goings-on have happened the past few days, hence our absence from the blog. Saturday morning these humans left home. Absolutely no idea of when they would return. His Lordship had a pretty rough phone call, and it meant leaving here and got back last night. It appears the new owners of this chicken farm have absolutely no idea of what they are doing and poor communication with their cell phones turned off while running this business. They don't even carry out what they say they are doing and expect His Lordship to just know their plans. So, his job has ceased, and he's had enough and moved on. With 4,500 more chicks arriving this week they will be in a pickle but their own fault.

Now I reckon there might have been a few more colorful words said but I am saying nothing.

It appears His Lordship took the Mistress out for dinner on their way home. He is a kind man she says. They enjoyed his family's birthday yesterday. the Mistress made a Pavlova and didn't bring any home, so it must have been good. His Lordship loves this dessert and I reckon he would eat it every day if he could.

This morning the Mistress was busy in the kitchen and from my position on the shelf, she made 2 large Pizzas. She announced they were Chicken Satay. These love birds were on the hunt for the yellow pepper she bought, and both couldn't find it. It appears that Pepper has done a runner and taken off. I don't blame it at all. Why would you put pepper on a Pizza?

So, while these 2 love birds were away, we felt it was too cold outside in the rain, so some of our friends came inside and played with the ping pong balls. Such fun flying all over the place. Do you know that some of these chaps even hid them under their hats?  No jolly wonder we couldn't find them at times. Such a mean trick I thought. They go well on the kitchen and bathroom floors as they are tile. That Trixie woman got up to the fruit bowl and threw some oranges around. 

Trixie came a cropper on those floors as she could get any traction. The barrel fella, well he was useless. I reckon he should be tossed outside and see what those other fellas think.

When those Pizzas came out of the oven these love birds took a picnic lunch out. The mistress informed her man she wanted to see the blossom over at the Quarry. 

His Lordship and the Mistress

under the blossom trees.

It appears they had to walk quite a long way with the mistress on a crutch she found it very tiring, but worth it to see such an amazing display even after the amount of rain we had.

These 2 mean people left us in the car, and we couldn't see the blossom.   

 As the weather cooled down, they ate their pizza in the car.

Chicken Satay Pizza

It was nice for Trixie and I to get out of the house and we shan't be telling our friends where we went either. What they don't know won't hurt them.

Now a chap came to the door to sell something and asked about the Mistress's car. He loves the colors and the stripes. It appears he would like to buy one of these. Of course, the mistress recommended this one. He noted the scuffed hub caps, plus the small dent of someone's door in a car park that was done recently.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      

 21/9/23

The Mistress potters around in between rests, and we got to go outside when she went out this morning. As usual we are unsure of the time of her return. We sat around the pool checking out the fish and how those fellas were doing with their rods. Would you believe one of them had his rod in the water without a hook and line. How on earth does he expect to catch anything. Trixie reckons he has lost his marbles and I agree with her. How stupid, oh well some mothers do have them!

We were not out there long when we heard the car come up the drive, so a mad dash to get up to our places on the shelf. This afternoon a friend called in to take her out for a cupper, so the mistress was delighted. They get on well these two and are never short of conversation. 

So again, we explored outside and wondered when the fella who mows the lawns was coming as the lawn is a bit scruffy. The Mistress likes things to be tidy. We saw where she put the new Gnomes she was given. They quite like living here they say but they moaned about the wind today, but we told them they had 2 choices, to like it or lump it. There are so many things for them to learn about this Mistress and her funny ways. They will learn the hard way like we did. They want to live inside like we do, but that isn't going to happen any time soon. Those of us who live inside were specially chosen! One stupid fellow asked what it takes to be chosen. He asks too many questions.  

The Mistress hasn't been out in the garage painting the Gnomes who look scruffy. I guess she has to be in the mood. At least she has rested her foot. Now we know she is going out with some village people tomorrow afternoon. She has organized a social get-together for everyone and reckons she might stay put for dinner. Now this is good for us. We have time to plan what we shall do. I am not about to say here, because we don't need this woman here to spoil our fun. What she doesn't know won't hurt her! 😂😂😂😂😂

20/9/23

Oh heck, what on earth is going on here. Trixie and I were sitting here on the shelf minding our own business and the mistress was in the shower. The noise was loud in our ears. Crickey we nearly fell off the shelf here. How come we rock and rolled? Such a huge fright. This is so bad for our nerves.

The Mistress's phone rang, lots of texts pinged and she missed it all, but soon learned what just happened. A 6.2 earthquake. I recall the big ones from a few years ago. The house was a mess, and the mistress was so upset. We thought those days were behind us, but not so. We do not require any more earthquakes, please. The Mistress asks what we expect her to do about it. She gets these feelings at times so maybe she could send these quakes away to where they came from.

We, Gnomes know that this is the planet doing its thing and nobody can change these things that happen. Her Nephew, who is a geologist, says "Auntie you haven't had the big one yet." Cor Blimey really?

The Mistress has elevated her foot all day today and has not even continued her Gnome painting. She doesn't look sick, but her fella insists she elevates. Does this mean she is doing what she is told? She can elevate in the garage but says she's not in the mood to paint today. 

I did wonder where she disappeared at one point. She took the Gnomes she was given yesterday and sprayed them to protect them from the weather elements.

New Gnomes she was given.

 19/9/23

Blimey His Lordship rose and made sure the Mistress remained seated in her chair with her foot elevated while he got her breakfast. He emptied the dishwasher, tidied up after breakfast, and got himself away home. Oh, and he put the washing machine on.

I reckon he is a keeper, and the Mistress agrees. These types of blokes are very hard to come by. She is not about to share him that is for sure.

The Mistress perched at the tables in the garage to repaint Gnomes this afternoon. Trixie and I supervised, but fat chance of us succeeding here. She has her own way of doing things and a human mind is so different to a Gnomes. I asked why this is so and was told to check out the answer in my books. 

Before painting, all scrubbed and ready to paint.

Some of these fellas were so dirty, that the mistress scrubbed and scrubbed. We will look forward to seeing the final result.

She sprayed the fellas with a clear Lacker that she was given yesterday. Photo tomorrow when they are dry. Her friend down in the village came and checked out what she was up to. She is always amazed at what the mistress is doing. Another neighbor popped in too and saw what was happening in the garage.

Now the Achilles isn't so swollen today. but I do have a feeling she might go and see the physio sooner rather than later. 

His Lordship phoned up tonight, OMG mushy mushy, the mistress missed him as soon as he walked out the door. He, tonight talked about wishing it was a permanent living arrangement. Oh, heck he hasn't asked my permission yet!!

 18/9/23

Well, today we headed out the door ready for a dose of public speaking. A lovely man introduced us including his Lordship. As for me, well I was on show taking it all in. The mistress did well and spoke to about 20 keen listeners. She had a big black thing beside her to generate sound, and His Lordship was on camera duty. They asked lots of questions and the mistress was very keen to answer them. I reckon His Lordship and I are quite proud of her.

The first of many more public speaking engagements.

She told them she hadn't stood up the front before, but she didn't say anything about how I was feeling about all these eyes on me at once. Now I was shaking in my boots, and she wasn't a bit concerned about me. I dislike being the center of attention and next time I need to take a pill or two first. Now don't tell her this, but when she sent me to the bathroom before we left home, I was supposed to wash and comb my hair first. She informed me I was dirty and had very scruffy hair and these people could smell me. I looked at the bathroom, then scarpered off elsewhere. 

First time ever full page pin up.

They all seemed very interested in this talk and they asked lots of questions. For Heaven's sake, she showed them my toilet bag for when we travel, how ridiculous is this. Complete embarrassment how dare she do this to me. I shall have to find something to show her up.

 

These chaps were brought along with a member of this group.

Gnomes like dirt but she won't listen. My mates outside love dirt and she doesn't tell them to go and have a wash. They just adore the rain, and the wind dries them. Easy Peasy. 

She brought along some of my mates with her today.

We were all wrapped up and chucked in the boot of the car at the end of our time at that weird place. We were listening to these 2 love birds while they drove. Goodness only knows where we were, but eventually, we stopped. A smell wafted into the car when they returned. Now I had smelt this before and a lot of paper shuffling was going on. Then it clicked what they were doing. Fish and chips by the sea. They like the sea. (Sumner) I hear them say it's so peaceful. In the boot, we could hear the sea and dogs barking. The humans said it was very windy and that the sand was blowing into people's faces. Oh, now that wouldn't be at all nice.

Next, they drove off to the fella with a ponytail, home. Now this fine gentleman had 10 Gnomes to give my mistress, from a friend of a friend...!! He had visited our place a few weeks ago, and he and the mistress were full of laughter. 

Henry's very special Gnome

Jeepers it appears this fella is famous and well known in Christchurch and especially the Antarctic, South Pole. He has taken a Gnome down there and got it signed. That Gnome has a small bottle of water inside it, all the way from down there. Now why would you stuff water in a Gnome for goodness's sake. I guess because he has a ponytail anything is possible. Weird if you ask me. We Gnomes don't tie our hair up. We like to experience nature and be free of obstacles. 

Gnome suitcases signed by lots of famous people including the mistress.

 Some very famous people have signed these boxes, Edmund Hillary, Ex-Prime minister of NZ, and Ashley Bloomfield. Oh, just all sorts, and the mistress was excited that the Dali Lama had met his Gnome. and he was most impressed. Somebody even took the Gnome up a Mt Everest. The Mistress reckons if you Google Henrey's name there are heaps to read.  She was asked to sign the box too because she is famous now. She even put my name on the box.

Henry reckons the mistress has the most Gnomes in Christchurch and wonders if anybody else is as crazy as her. She asks if anyone else has more than 410? Does anyone want to part from theirs and she would adopt them. Where the heck does she think the influx would go? She only has a small place you know, but she reckons there is always a place for a Gnome. She needs to get cracking and repaint some out in the garage. His Lordship set the garage up for her to sit and rest her foot out there before he left this morning. 

Very swollen Achillies

She says she will miss him as he has been so helpful. He wouldn't allow her to get breakfast this morning and made her elevate her leg to get the swelling down. She hurt it more at Henry's place. Oh, his Lordship is so kind, and a very loving gesture..... mushy mushy.

 16/9/23

It never ceases to amaze me that the mistress has always got another adventure up her sleeve. Today I heard a conversation with the mistress and somebody on the phone and again last night telling his Lordship. Now I would never have thought that this would be possible. She has been asked to speak to a local group about her life with Gnomes. Now this is a first and she tells me that I will be the center of attention. Me, oh my goodness. I could be shy you know, like his Lordship. He maintains he is shy, but nobody has thought about my feelings.

The Mistress says it's her that does the talking, and that I just sit there while everyone looks at me. She says I need to bathe and wash my hair before Monday morning. Now I have told her that I dislike water and I had news for her and that I could run away. She told me that this would deeply upset these people who had come especially to see me. She locked the door just in case and told the policeman at the gate not to let me out. 

My life as a gnome in this house is pretty rough at times, and I noticed she never actually asked me if I wanted to do this. How dare she. The mistress has assured me that they will all love me and that I would be pleased that I went along. She reckons some of these people may have gnomes at their homes too. If this is so, then I would like to meet them. 

A friend of hers phoned today to say she heard something on the radio about new Winkle beds and that the friend was thinking of me. The mistress googled this and appeared to be spelled differently. Winkl and not Winkle. She had visions of me sleeping in a Gnome-sized bed. Now I am not telling this lady, but I have a special place to sleep here, and I am not about to discuss where this is. This is Gnome business only. 

OMG, it appears I have some new Gnome friends coming to stay. The mistress has just had a text from someone to say that a group is gifting her some Gnomes......another 10. We are to go over next week and pick them up. Gosh, there are some kind people around and the mistress is pretty happy about this. 

Watch this space for more adventures with the Mistress and His Lordship.

15/9/23

 It has been a busy couple of days for Trixie and me. Our prime position in the caravan window means we can see all sorts of activities. Vehicles come and go; the dog runs around and sometimes he is tied up because he frightens the chickens/chooks. Now he is never happy with this and lets his masters know by barking and more barking. Now you don't hear us Gnomes carry on like this. Why do they do this I wonder?

The mistress wasn't in a hurry to answer my question, so we must figure this out ourselves. Jeepers he is extremely happy when they let him off. He gets so excited and runs in circles. 

Yesterday afternoon these 2 love birds went out. As usual, who knows when they will be back. We explored around to see if the new owners had any Gnomes. There is no garden let alone Gnomes. Hmm. In the distance, there is a big black and white cat. He just wanders around, and we don't see him very often.

We didn't stay out too long in case these 2 came back and caught us out. It's quite peaceful this way of life in a caravan. His Lordship did some jobs making nesting boxes yesterday. He was over in the yard, and we saw dust whirlwinds going on. Quite fascinating to watch really. It appeared to be very windy, and he came back all dusty. 

He really fusses over the mistress, making cups of tea, and breakfast, and watches her getting in and out of the caravan with her sore foot. I suppose he might catch her if she falls....😂😂😂

Today we came back very early as the mistress had an appointment. I hear she is going to repaint gnomes sometime soon. This could be good to watch. She doesn't like scruffy Gnomes and from what we can see she has done a good job of my mates outside. I do hope we get to watch this process. At least she can sit down to do this and rest her foot.

13/9/23

Golly gosh the mistress remembered to take us with her to Tinwald today. Amazing said Trixie. We were packed up safely in her bag and taken to the car. We couldn't see much but, I don't think we better complain somehow. 

Now as we came out of our drive the mistress really got upset as a lady went around the corner on the wrong side of the road. She reckoned if a car was coming the other way there would have been a smash. Then further down the road the mistress really blasted the horn along with someone else as a clown proceeded through his red light as ours had been green for a while. She was far from impressed and wondered when the next catastrophe would happen. Thankfully there wasn't a third time. That could have been more than the Mistress could handle.

His Lordship had arrived home from golf earlier than usual. He couldn't wait to see the Mistress I reckon 😂😂😂

We were greeted by a very active dog. Honey nearly knocked the Mistress over in her already unstable condition. She was just so excited to see us. The Mistress says she is huge and full-on and excited. We were perched up at the caravan window and could see this dog running around the place. 

Trixie and I watched these two stumble across the grass so the mistress could meet the new owners. That dog came running outside as they arrived. Again, she nearly bowled the Mistress over. I understand that the dog gets jealous when the cat appears and gets attention from the humans. The lady of the house says they sleep together and are good mates. 

Gnomes don't get jealous because what is the point. Animals and humans are an odd bunch and so complicated. They have some very strange habits that Gnomes don't ever get caught up in. 

  11/9 - 12/9/23

Everyone here is happy as the sun is shining yet again. Now I have some VIP news to report here. They went out after lunch to see some people then the mistress had to see a physio yesterday and came home with a crutch. OMG I wasn't expecting to see this. It appears 

The Mistress is on a Crutch.

her Achilles is rather painful, and the crutch will take the weight off her foot. I guess some mothers do have them!! What do we think she will do next? 

Yesterday I watched out the window and the mistress was putting the swimming pool together for us. Oh, she is so kind to us. My mates outside are delighted. One chap reckons he will splash the mistress when she walks past, and if it is his Lordship, well who knows what they will do. 😂😂😂😂 The last I heard was that they would grab his ankles and drag him in.

Yeah, we can swim again.

Now this afternoon they went to get cheap petrol, and you should have seen what they came home with for their afternoon tea. His Lordship is well known for making his lady a great cup of tea, and then he produced a huge cream donut for each of them. Now sitting in prime position watching these 2 eat these jolly things, was an education, they had cream all around their faces and licking fingers, lips, and their chops. Oh, what a sight for sore eyes.

Now more news to report. The mistress is going to Tinwald tomorrow when the fella finishes golf. She can't go on patrol because she has to walk around some places, and this is a bit tricky at present. I wonder if she will take us too. Hope so, because I hear the new owners of these chicken/chooks have a nice black dog and a cat, so we may see them from our position at the window. 

I shall report back as to whether she remembers to take us. I tell you there will be trouble if she forgets. 

10/9/23

 The mistress went out this morning, and being a nice day, we wondered how long she would be gone. We were a bit slow at moving this morning, probably due to all the running around after those ping-pong balls yesterday. Just as we thought about going outside, there was a weird noise at the front door. Goodness gracious me, what on earth is going on here. The next minute the door opened, OMG a burglar, heck where is something to knock them on the head. Oh, it is his Lordship. He decided to come and be here for when she got home, to surprise the mistress. It appears he knows the code combination of the lock key box. Crickey has his feet well and truly under the table here. He takes his dirty washing out to the garage and turns the washing machine on. Anybody would think this was his place. I have news for him. He hasn't asked my permission yet.

Then he makes himself a cupper, puts his feet up, and watches TV. He texted the mistress to say he just left but was here. Gosh, he sure likes to surprise her. But the funny thing was when she rolled in the door laughing, it appeared she felt he would be here. You see she got a special feeling of inner knowing that he would be.

This afternoon they decided to go out and make the most of the sunshine. Goodness only knows where they went but when they came back, they talked about these feelings she had as she visualized a car park, and bingo a park was there today.

I reckon that if he misbehaved, she would know. If he lied to her she would know. I think she knows too much, but jeepers don't tell her this. I could get put outside.

9/9/23

Gosh, the mistress was out early today. Now the beauty of being inside means I get to hear all sorts of things, and so she had a meeting this morning, then off to a 4-year-old birthday at Darfield this afternoon.

Now according to my calculations, this would mean she would be away quite some time. So outside we went, our mates were delighted to see us, and oh the fun we had, tossing the balls all around the concrete and the grass. They all joined us including the dog, rabbits, and even the snail. 

It's about time the mistress filled the pool for us. We could toss the balls in the pool and splash each other. Due to the issue of water and my strong dislike for it, I could throw them for sure. There is a group of fellas drinking Tui Beer, and they choose to watch us and not share their Beer. Oh well, at least I wouldn't get told off by the mistress. Now that's a plus for sure. 

We wondered when she would be home and if was it time to pack up just in case we got caught out. I told everyone that we should pack up and stay on the right side of her or life could get very rough. They all agreed, and we came inside to our place on the shelf. Trixie and I chatted about our day until the mistress arrived home. 

Loverboy phoned up the mistress. They seem to be missing each other. Oh well, only 1 more sleep he says. She was making muffins when he called. Blueberry today. He was most impressed as usual. 

8/9/23

We had some fun overnight on the floor with the ping pong balls. Some flying high and some low and oh heck that fella in the barrel, he rolled into the mistress's bedroom with 3 balls, and jeepers he did make a racket. The mistress woke up and got up. He hid under her bed until she returned. That was a close call. The look on his face was a real picture. That will teach him to have so many balls at once.

When all was clear and she was back in bed, he very carefully came back to the lounge. We all sat quietly for a while, so we didn't disturb her. The Rainbow Man kept an eye out for us but because it was dark, she was very quiet, and it was hard to know when she would get out of bed. Sometimes it's 3 or 4 times a night, so we are always on high alert.

The mistress went out this morning, so we gathered very quickly and played with the ping pong balls again. We are never sure how long she will be, so we made the most of it, and the wheelbarrow fella, well when he laughs, it's a real belly laugh. This causes the rest of us to laugh too. One ball landed in the fruit bowl and Trixie had to climb on the bench and fetch it. Not an easy mission for my slightly older lady. Once up there, she threw an orange at the fella with the tall blue hat. She missed and this caused a huge amount of laughter. 

We decided to pack up in case we heard the garage door open. There were balls everywhere, so we all got to and put the lounge back together again. A quick scout around to make sure there was no evidence of us playing. 

About half an hour later the garage door opened, and we all raced back to our places. It was a fun morning and good to get some exercise for a change, particularly the laughter muscles. We could have done it with a beer but decided against it. We all well remember what happened last time we did this as that mistress was on the wall path. 

She's been a busy young lady this afternoon. The floors hadn't been done for a while and she even mopped the floor. Gosh, it's a while since the water had washed the floor in a while, but shh don't tell her this. Maybe she went on a guilt trip over this. Hope so as she should know better than to let things slide. Come to think of it, I better be careful here, as she has had that stupid cough that caused gale-force winds inside, and almost blowing us off our perches. 

Those fellas on the seesaw thought her coughing would blow the dust off the TV but nope, it is still there. Oh well, there is always another day.

7/9/23

The sun was shining, and the mistress was very happy to see it again.  This afternoon she disappeared outside for a while and appeared she watered some pots and checked out whether my mates were up to mischief. I hear that some asked her to fill the pool with water, now that it was a bit warmer, and some of them were keen to have a splash. She informs them that she will think about it.

A friend of hers popped in this afternoon. They like getting together these 2 over a cupper. The mistress has another village social going on in a couple of weeks, and this friend will deliver the flyers for her as she can't deliver them to each person's letterbox. It was popular last time and now that she is rid of her bugs, is keen to get things going again. 

Spring has sprung and she has all sorts of ideas going on in her head I feel. But this foot may hinder her plans here. I shall be keeping an eye on her. Those fellas outside will report to me when she steps out of line doing too much. 

Another night on the phone with these 2 love birds. Oh, the mush that goes on here is amazing. I guess as long as they are happy that is all that matters. 

The numbers reading the blog continue to amaze me. Now well over 11,200. Ranges from 50-90 people a day. Some days less some days more. The other day 150 in 24 hours. Incredible news for everyone. 

 6/9/23

The mistress was late getting up again. She is not moving very fast again. Looks like the Achilles may be the issue. She was delighted to see the sunshine this morning then I heard her complaining about hearing thunder this afternoon. I wonder if she was hearing things! Trixie and I never heard it. She told a friend on the phone, and she heard it too. Goodness, I missed this exciting piece of news. Trixie and I would have loved to Rock and Roll.

Now on Monday, it was the anniversary of the big Earthquake, and the mistress was at a meeting in an old building over on the east of the city, when there was a sudden rock and roll. She thought these things had stopped, but no not likely. The mistress doesn't dare think about these horrible things as they bring back some horrible memories for her.  

The mistress was caught out this morning as a courier arrived with a large box and she was still in her dressing gown. She wasn't expecting anything so enjoyed a surprise from Japan. Where the heck is Japan, I ask? I was promptly informed to look it up in my books. When I saw the box, it reminded me of my own awful experience of being in a box and delivered home when the mistress accidentally left me down south. Now this was the most terrible time in my life. I am so sure now that my nerves haven't recovered. I looked this up in my books and it appears I have P.D.S.T. 

I really do wonder about that lady down there. She never advised me about how rough that trip would be before I left. Not being able to see the outside world from inside this box let alone breathe properly was a nightmare that didn't appear to end quickly. Hence the trauma I now suffer because of this. Usually, I sit on a cushion with a seat belt around me and sit beside her, so I don't miss anything. That mistress just says, suck it up, your home now. This human can be so cruel to my feelings at times. 

It's a tough life being a Gnome in this place where I live. Just who does she think she is? She is trying to teach me to be grateful that I got to go on that trip, as she could have left me at home. I suppose she is a wise woman with lots of wisdom she has learned over the many years she has been on this planet. I wonder if it's more years than me. Awe I don't think I will ask that question. 😂😂😂

OMG, she has just spoken to her fella on the phone so they can see each other. Mushy mushy. She got her wires crossed and thought it was Thursday. He politely told her it was golf day. Oh, the laughter and jokes and he feels she is losing the plot. He could be right on that one, but for goodness' sake don't you dare tell her this. I could be put outside.

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I can no longer put any quotes on here due to copyright issues.

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4/9/23 - 5/9/23

 These 2 humans have been in and out a lot today. Goodness only knows what they get up to. I do know she had an ultrasound today on this Achilles business. What on earth is an ultrasound. The mistress claims that I need to look this up in my books. I did as requested, and now she has to wait for the doctor to phone her. 

There appear to be some flowers on the bench, and they are giving off a strong smell. We are not far away from them, and Trixie says her nose is itchy. I believe these bulbs may be from the mistress late mother's garden. 

My mates outside said there were some flowers missing so it looks like these are them. They said they were enjoying seeing them develop into blooms and were upset that she came out and cut them off the plants. Freesias apparently. Gnomes like watching nature change and evolve. There are some Camelias also blooming, and they watch the mistress come along and take the dead ones off as they are so messy, and she tries to keep them tidy. 

The mistress is itching to spend more time out there when the weather warms up a bit. But this Achilles problem may stop her in her tracks for a while. That fella with the wheelbarrow needs to bring it outside put the dead flowers in it and take them to the green bin. He has far too much to say at times and we reckon he needs to keep busy and help the poor old mistress out. 

I would help, but I am far too busy reading my books and simply have no time in my busy 24-hour days. I barely get any rest some days, because these blokes want answers to their many questions on humans. And as you know I am the only one here who can read and teach them. 

At dinner time last night, the mistress had his Lordship on cooking duties. It was steak and she knew he was a master at cooking these, but he had huge instructions about her steak, and that it was to be well done (cremated) and not see any red business. She had put some wedges in the air fryer, then stayed out his road. Her kitchen is far too small for 2 cooks, so she left him to it. The mistress was very impressed with the final results and advised him she would keep him on.

Last night the mistress went out as usual as was a Monday night group she attends. So, his Lordship and I were home alone. He is an interesting fellow to watch sometimes. He has figured out how to put Netflix on her TV and rather enjoys some movies. This bloke looks to be quite at home here and seems to fit in very well. If you ask me, he probably enjoys having the house to himself at times.

 2/9/23-3/9/23

Some days here, there is not a lot happening. The mistress has still got a bit of a cough and the occasional blast of wind whistles by. She seems to be in some real discomfort with this Achilles issue. She is hobbling around here with some real moaning at times and pops pills for pain too.

Last night we were sitting here like normal. The mistress had spoken to his Lordship earlier and reported that he would see her this afternoon as usual on a Sunday. Now a while later she got a feeling .... she thought that anytime soon there could be a knock door. Sure, enough she opens the door to her man, who is laughing his head off. The mistress likes surprises and is very happy to see him. Now we reckon she is weird when he does this to her. 

She went out this morning leaving his Lordship at home. He likes to keep the TV company. Father's Day today, and a lovely lady, his daughter, and son-in-law arrived, to see him. They even checked out the Gnome family outside. The mistress missed seeing them, but only just. Their son was at a camp and needed picking up.

This afternoon these two went out and were still chuckling on arriving home. It appears the mistress visualized a car park at the door of Mitre 10 so she didn't have to walk far, and bingo she scored. His Lordship just chuckles and shakes his head. I was still chuckling because at lunch time she brought another small table over to their rocking chairs and a leg fell off. Hilarious I thought. The look on her face and her fella cracked up laughing. They bought some glue, so he earned his keep and fixed it for her. 

Mealtime tonight was an interesting time for us to observe. Trixie dug me in the ribs and quietly said to look at these humans. They were both chewing on bacon bones. What a sight and mess they made. They appeared to enjoy them, but for us to watch this going on, well this was an education. But for a mere Gnome living with humans, what can I say. 

1/9/23

Crickey the alarm went off today. She didn't want to miss an appointment. That mistress isn't known for getting up early these days and politely informing me how long she sleeps is her business. 

The Dr is on the ball and changed her mind and said to have an ultrasound on Monday. The mistress has another excuse to sit down and elevate her foot, and her flu is getting better too.  She is far from impressed as it's a lovely day to get outside into the garden. OMG does this mean she will get planted in the garden beside my Gnome friends. The mind boggles. 

The mistress told her fella that she needed to get out there and tidy up and cut back some plants. This enforced rest is what is called for now and she must listen to her body. There is always another day. 

Some fella came here today and disturbed the peace and quiet. He mowed the lawns and what a noise he made. Those gnome fellas get dust and grass all over themselves and are not impressed, but when they look at the lawns, they change their mind as they now look so tidy.  Oh well, I guess the next rainfall will take care of their looks. It is important that they look good for my mistress. 

Rainfall, gosh I am so glad I don't live outside. I dislike water and the mistress knows this from our holiday when she tried to put me in the sea and catch the waves. Also, she tried washing me in the bathroom, at each place we stayed, but I really protested at this habit. We Gnomes don't wash. We like some dust and dirt. It took her a long time to realize this and was very glad when she stopped trying. 

Now that we are home again, she gets the duster and flicks it over us on the shelf. We don't dare say anything, because she could well put us outside, and I don't like frosts, rain, hail, or wind. I like the peace that I have inside and like to listen to conversations that go on here. 

I really have a dislike for being cold. I am used to the heat pump, and I guess you could say I am spoilt. Trixie agrees with me too. She doesn't have a lot to say at times, but like the mistress, I am beginning to read her mind and she reads mine too. That fella that visits, well they read each other's mind too. The mistress just needs to think about putting the jug on and he goes and does it without any words being said, and vice versa. Seems weird but I tell you they are in sync with each other. So, Trixie and I are learning how they do this. So, watch this space!!