Well, here I am again. The mistress has been messing around that jolly camera and computer again. She said a small swear word while trying to put these pictures on here. She said she's still learning.

This picture on the left is me sitting in between her CDs. From this position I can see very clearly over her shoulder and see what she's up to.

I watch her in the kitchen too. This is a small place you know and no room to swing the cat around by his tail, so I read for many hours. She calls him Milo, how crazy is that. Shes the weirdo around here. 

The one below, are me mates above me on the top shelf. Sometimes they chuck things on my head and wake me up. Do you know she has a foster cat here and boy oh boy we watch him through the night getting up to all sorts of mischief. He tosses ping pong balls around the place and in the morning the mistress wonders how they got in funny places like his food bowl. The stupid cat sleeps all day and plays all night keeping her awake from the high jinks he gets up to. I don't think he even knows we are up on the shelf and watching him. I know I could chuck a CD down on him and see what happens. Hehehe😂😆

I will let you know. This god dammed holiday is looming fast. Shes even got a list of what to take and says I will have my very own bag with only MY stuff in it. I hope it's a big bag cos I want to take some extra books. I'll hide them in there, so she won't see them. Us gnomes read a lot on our holidays and non-holidays. I wonder if I need to pack my togs too, and some chocolate fish she promised me I could have, as I missed out on a bite of hers recently. I won't share them with her either.

My name is Winkle

Well at long last the mistress has sorted out my name. Gosh she's made this hard work for herself. Shes been on that D.. computer scrolling and scrolling for hours and hours. She thinks I can't see over her shoulder and over my book. I live on the shelf behind her and can see everything, cause I'm a gnome and we have a special gift, but don't you dear tell her this. I'll get into trouble then I guess she won't take me on holiday.

I really need to keep an eye on her and go on this holiday cause she's capable of getting into all sorts of mischief, and goodness only knows this could involve me too. Oh, heaven help me!

Me thinks I'll just keep reading my book. I don't dare tell her what I'm reading because this is only GNOME business. 

Do you know, this afternoon she got another phone call from her favorite shop to do some more modelling. What on earth does this mean. I suppose she'll spend more money. Modelling....hmmm. I wonder if they need a gnome too!! I could do with a new outfit. 

Shes just told me she's not available when they need her so that's a relief. We have visitors coming to stay that evening. Do you know she didn't even ask my permission. I was told that if I went out and got a job and contributed to the household expenses then I would get a say in the matter.

Since when do gnomes go out to work? We can do as we jolly well, please. Reading a book is hard work you know, there is so much information to stuff into our brains that we pretend we're reading when we are not because we need rest too. We can't tell her all our tricks you know. Its Gnome business.

Time for a snooze now. Catch ya later

 

                          Nude Gardening Day

My mistress has just announced its nude gardening day. What's she on about?

Some of us gnomes have been found to be nude before, and in other compomising  positions.

She even has a topless one in the pool. So what does this mean in today's world. Don't tell me she's going to appear in the nuddy. Heaven help me, pleeeeeze.

Watch this space and I'll report back. 

Do you know, she's been doing some crazy things lately, and since she retired, and totally out of character for her. Being a model in her favourite shop. Who does she think she is? I can see she's no slim Jim. Her new car, red and black with racing stripes and a sports car too. Who does she think she is? Shes no spring chicken anymore and announces that it goes faster with stripes. "What" oh heck. 

A fella asked her if she had any tickets yet? The crazy women said she's working on it. What😏😒

I hope she puts the seat belt around me when we take off on this trip and, has insured me? The life of a gnome.......What next is she going to come out with. I think I liked her when she was working.

Shes never home these days and interupt's my peace and quiet as she's in and out of here like a yoyo. 

There will be peace soon as she's off to croquet. Yesterday she got the shot of the day, and they gave her a chocolate fish for her efforts. Where's mine because she didn't share any with me.

Do you know what, that women is up to something. Shes come home from croquet all fired up. Shes on the computer and said she is looking up name ideas. What on earth for.? 

OMG she's not pregnant is she. I have not seen any fella hanging around here around here. How can this be. I threw my book at her to get her attention, and asked why, and please explain😟.

Holy Moly and guacamole. She said I have to have a name change. WOT, why, for goodness sake. Ned is easy for us to remember in our aging years.  Her friends think I need an Irish name being a gnome. You just wait till I see them. How would they like there name changed in there advancing years. I know I'll let their tyre's down.

Oh well at least it's not a sex change!!!! I wonder what name she will come up with. Hmmm. I wait and wait.

 We're back again.

Am a very unhappy little fella today, because she gave me a wash. How dare she. Nothing wrong with a bit of dust. She lost the page I was on, and I had to hunt for it. She said, " Tough get over it". 😟

You see it's the dirt that's holding me together. Thats what I believe anyway......hehehehe😀

I had some peace and quiet this afternoon to read my book. She took off to play croquet then disturbed me on her return. Ho humm till next time. Bye

Part 1

Gosh maybe I've truly lost the plot here. Traveling with a gnome...1 of the 320 plus from my collection.

Traveling on my own I needed company and someone to bounce ideas off .  Maybe he'll answer back, I guess time will tell.

You see it's her big OE across Cook strait. She says she's scared of the unknown and will get lonely. How can she when I'm there right beside her with front seat view and hoping she doesn't get any speeding tickets with those stripes on her flash New Swift Sports car with a paint job to blow everyone away, and hopefully the cops    too  .

She's talking about" have faith and trust the process". Have faith ...what's she talking about. Says asks her higher power to look after us. What? I guess I've got a lot to learn too. Hey, does that mean I've got a higher power too. Hmm.

Maybe I'm her " higher power". Hang on I'm only a little fella. I heard her talk about crystals the other day. She thinks she'll take some with us on this trip. Oh no way, what a silly idea. What does she think she's doing?

I need to sit her down and say ......Look here what rubbish.

Why doesn't she take some books like me and just read and read cos we are on holiday. She says 2 books are enough for her small car. My guess is we could buy more while we are away. If she thinks I'm racing around like a lunatic, then I've got news for her.

She's into pet sitting, how dare she, it's my holiday too. I suppose she will ignore me.

I want to take a friend, but she says NO, as there's enough luggage etc in the car and no room.

**OMG she's just said we are going on another short holiday Show weekend. We are going on a train to Picton with her friends. She hasn't asked me if I want to go, said bookings are done and tough you're going!! Then she drops the next bomb ...... she's just said we are going on another short holiday Show weekend. We are going on a train to Picton with her friends. She hasn't asked me if I want to go, said bookings are done and tough you're going!! Then she drops the next bomb ......we're going on the mail boat from Picton around the sounds taking peoples mail to them. Says I will enjoy the experience.

Well, I've got news for her, I'm taking my book.

What happens if I pukka all over my book? Oh well, she will have to clean me up. Hehe that's so funny.

A ride on a train and boat oh and staying in a motel. I pointed out that her friends better not snore! I'll just turn my light on and read and that will pee them off. Hehehe