Village Party

Well, she disturbed my peaceful morning and plonked me on a table outside as we had the "Village people" coming over to say goodbye to us cos we are getting ready to leave home and do this O.E. (across Cook Strait) on Wednesday 💦💦😅but we are apparently stopping the night in Kaikoura, then on to Picton for the night before crossing in a BIG boat on Friday. She tells me it's different to the mail boat and the car is coming too. 

So, these lovely people got a card with me picture on it.

They want to follow our journey. I notice they didn't ask my permission. One old sweetie going to tell her family that she has a fella in her life.... who, me. Now this could get very interesting. Fancy having my card as a pin up. 

The mistress has made contact with some famous people. She says he took a Gnome to the south Pole, and he has some signatures of other famous people on his Gnome. Hey nobody is going to write on me. I'll put up a fight on this one, so I hope the mistress has got the message. Shes going to catch up with him when we return home.

I wonder if she will take me to meet the Prime Minister. I would really like that. She said we arrive in Wellington on Friday. I'll keep me eyes wide open and make her stop if I see that famous lady. Shes got a hard job ahead with the elections coming up. The mistress doesn't realize that I sometimes tune in to the news. A gnome doesn't miss a thing you know. We are like Santa. We know everything, even more that the mistress.

Short Road trip 

The mistress informed that she was packing for a trip to Waimate to see the rallies, and that I had to behave myself. Why should I behave?

Us Gnomes have our own agenda as we are not humans, and we tick differently, and quite rightly so. Who does she think she is anyway. 👴I packed my own bags, cos I wanted extra books that she said I wasn't allowed. I even hunted for the chocolate fish she promised. She hid them on me, but I know all her secrets. She got that jolly toilet bag again with me toothbrush, comb, shampoo for my great locks, and soap. I need to train her on Gnome habits, and we don't ever wash. We like dust, mud and dirt and she better get used to this...Or else!!

So, she sat me on a cushion on the front seat, and belted me in, then with me books and chocolate fish and off we went in her red and black speedy machine, the Suzuki sport. Don't tell her but it really was a nice ride. It will go to her head if she found out and we can't have that.

We took the old Auntie and Uncle out for a ride and showed them exactly what this car will do. She said, "brace yourselves" and she planted her foot, and we flew like an aero plane. Not for long tho cause their old tickers might have stopped....Hehehehe. 

They did enjoy going up to the white horse on the hill. The road was rough, and her shiny car was very, very dirty. 

She tells me that this trip was a short version before our big trip beginning next week, in the car instead of the train.

The car purred along nicely, and she looked very comfortable, while looking out for those red/blue lights. I have to admit she didn't speed which was disappointing, I really wanted to see her face with a copper at her window! 😄

Home time

This strange fella had whiskers too, but not like a Gnome at all. Look at me, posing for a photo shoot!

 He brought out refreshments on this tray. Actually, this is quite a nice pose if I may say so. This is becoming quite a habit and could get used to this.

We boarded the train for that long ride home. Those humans were a little quieter on our return with an odd outburst from time to time. The old mistress seemed to enjoy showing me off and introducing me to the other passengers. I've never had so much attention and could get used to this travelling business.

Then along comes these strange humans with a crazy accent. I've never heard such weird talk before. They burst out laughing on being introduced to me. What's going on here. They announced their surname was WINKLE. What....how can this be?

Gosh a strange world this human business. So, I posed again. They loved me.......💑

To think that my picture will be going back to Canada. I hear from the mistress that their country is a long way away. It's a great life being famous.

My Mistress is

NUTS

These humans do all sorts of crazy things you know. I'd rather have stayed at the motel and read my book, but she wouldn't listen to me. Said we had a very important appointment at 10am and we couldn't be late. She had her sunnies on and we navigated the

stairs to our transport. OMG 

Her Buddie Rosemary and her

climbed aboard with me. This isn't gnome stuff. Where does she get these crazy ideas from. Heck the poor driver wondered what he had struck. His face a picture when he saw me. The two of them giggled and waved at everyone while we cruised around Picton and the lookout bays. Don't tell her, but I did enjoy the wind in my face and hair and a beautiful sunny day on the trike. The birds chirped while they looked at the scenery, oh I did enjoy hearing them. Was very peaceful and I hope she takes me back their cause it really was a great morning's entertainment. Shh don't her.....promise!!

Those 2 other friends of theirs were too chicken to have a ride.

Hey, do you know; we are going to be famous as that fella asked those humans, if he could put us on face book to promote his business. Famous😂 whippee.....

I don't mind at all, after all I'm the best looking, fella there. This trike purred like a baby, and I just rolled around the corners, admiring the view. The mistress gave me lovely cuddles as we travelled. She advised me not to get used to those cuddles.!! Hmmm

 Wine Tour

Whatever next. This isn't what gnomes do. I was belted in because we had a lady driver you know. I hope I'm insured. 😕These women, I don't know, I'd rather stay at home and read my book. The old van raced along the road and passed so many vineyards, on our way to Blenheim, and they said I had to stay in the van as this was no place for a gnome. What did they get up to I wonder?  Later they went into a chocolate factory called Makana and came out licking their lips and carrying their goodies. Oh well what passes their lips stays on the hips. Not my hips though. Us gnomes don't eat such stuff. 😋😋

Later was lunch time and the mistress decorated me with their garnish. What next. Ho Humm

 She got into the bubbly I noticed. When I complained she advised me that she only had 1 wine but was powerful stuff from what I could see. Hunter wines, she said and enjoyed this very much. The others did too, although some didn't partake. Gosh I was glad to get back to the motel. 5 women and a tiny gnome and all this yacking, makes me so tired. Snore snore.

 Eating out

Well, she plonked me down on the table and all 4 of them giggling away, when the mistress wanted another photo shoot. This time with the 2 waiters.

Golly gosh she can't get these photos aligned properly. I noticed she can't spell either at times cursing the computer when it's her fingers doing the tapping. 

What noisy place and hard case waiters, who wondered what they had struck here. These were kind fellas really. They brought out scrumptious food and all hoed in and enjoyed their meal. Oh, heck you want to see them checking out the talent again. A total embarrassment for a gnome. They staggered their way home giggling once again, and another night of yacking in the motel.

Mail boat ride in Picton

When they all got themselves organized, with so much yacking going on we boarded a mail boat. Wooh she didn't ask my permission. I would rather stay at the motel and catch up on sleep and have a read in the peace and quiet. 

What's she laughing about? All this mucking around and her friends don't stop yacking or laughing. Too much for a mere gnome. Wish I had a mate with me because I'm outnumbered here. 4 women. They are even spotting the talent.......what next. The pilot never stopped yacking either. This boat business isn't gnome business. The mistress scooped me up and told the pilot she wanted his chair for a photo shoot. 

Gosh I'm handsome. Do you know I could drive this thing. I wonder if they would give me the job he's doing. On checking the pilot out, he said I'm too short.

Oh well was worth a try. There was a great commotion when we pulled into a jetty where Ted and Anita got their mail.

If you look really hard, amongst the rain I spotted 2 Buddas. What are they up to. Their names are Ted and Anita I want to go and see them and check out their abode. When quick as a flick the pilot had whisked the boat into gear, and we are off, and I'm whisked back to my seat. I'd quite like to get to know them. Fancy calling them that when the humans have those names. A strange world, hmm.

The mistress nearly went flying when this boat struck the wake of the ferry going into Picton. I had a giggle though and didn't dear let her see me. 😂 

Oh well they all seemed to enjoy this weird experience. 

Train trip

Thank goodness I'm home again. This mistress had me doing all sorts of stuff, not normally known to Gnomes. Here I am sitting on the table on the train.

Why isn't the mistress still in bed. It's still half dark outside and gnomes don't rise early like this. She whisked me away so jolly fast I was dizzy. She says get over it. Huh!!! These friends of hers thought it was a huge joke.

People stopped and chatted about me so fast I couldn't get a word in. The train ride was quite spectacular really, but don't tell her this. I like to keep some stuff to myself as us gnomes are quite secretive with some things. Her motel mate is a real fuss pot, and bliss when they both went to bed. Silence at last. Boy they can both yack and yack. I sat back and read my book and fell fast asleep from our big day. 

 

 

Fella slept on the floor!!

Gosh I'm itching to tell you some gossip. 

I was minding my own business last night, when the mistress opened the door to her friends, and they stayed the night. Not enough room to sleep in bed so he slept on the floor on some bouncing thing! I recall something happening earlier in the night when this big blue thing was blown up with a pump. I wonder what will happen if put a pin in it when the fella sleeps. Could be interesting.

She didn't ask my permission about this arrangement. Was told that because I don't contribute to the finance department, I have NO say on the matter. It's a tough life being a gnome. At least he didn't snore, or I would have chucked a bunch of C/Ds at him. They're coming back to stay Monday night. 

The old bird coughs a bit and loves her / our house!! She didn't see much last night as it was dark when they arrived. They liked my friends outside too. The old bird has the same make and model car but a different color and year. No stripes I notice, so in that case she won't go as fast as us. Hehehe. I wonder what would happen if we got on the racetrack. Please no, I don't want to be in the car if they do this. 

Now get this....the mistress showed them my kits for going away. A toilet bag with soap, comb for my locks, and shampoo. Hey us gnomes don't use such stuff. She announced that I'm not allowed to get dirty or stink because we will be close to each other, and she doesn't like smelly little people like us gnomes. So, what's wrong with a bit of dirt or BO.

Then she produced a second kit. What...a drink bottle, my own tissues so we don't fight over them, and a couple of little books. I'd rather choose my own. 😄

So, its peaceful again cause the cat has gone and there's no ping pong balls being tossed around all night. At least I get some snoozing done.

Howdy. 

The mistress has been out again today. This means I get peace and quiet and can read my book without her flying past and rocking my chair just when I am at an interesting part. She wants to know what I am reading, but this is GNOME business only. Not at all fit for her eyes. I cover the page in case she gets ideas.

She announced on arriving home that this baby is due soon. Baby.....whats she is talking about. Since when is she pregnant. She saw my confused look and said it's her friends having their first baby, and listen to this, she's going to be the other grandmother. OMG what next !! It's a huge honor she says. It's a girl baby and she predicted this 5 years ago.

AYE how stupid is this. Predicted HMMM I will have to think about this and consult with me mates. Us gnomes don't read this stuff in our books. 

Maybe when she's asleep tonight, I will race outside and gather me mates around and try to get some understanding on this word " predicted a girl baby for these special friends."

The other thing she announced was the friend's father gave the new mum to be and the mistress a good luck charm. What's a good luck charm. Something else to discuss with me mates. She spoke that the mother needs luck on delivering this baby.  Oh, I see. 

Us gnomes just blow hard and poof out they come. 😂😂

So why does the mistress need a good luck charm?

She announced that its for our safe travels on this trip we are going on. Gosh what could possibly happen. She says I have to help keep us safe. Wot. Do I get paid for this. It's our holiday I thought. I have to earn my keep if I want treats. Oh, yes, I'm dreaming of those chocolate fish she promised. Oh, and new togs!

She said the lovely friend gave her home made cake and a cup of tea. Then an ice cream. So where is mine? She is always getting treats. We will have to discuss this further I feel.

She was very happy on arriving home and I questioned why? She had lots of laughs with these friends and took some great photos of the baby bump and the family. She told them I might write a book one day and give out autographs. Goodness gracious me we are retired and past this business. Could make lots of $$$$ she says. Well in that case I guess I could ponder on this and see what me mates think. Hmm

😀😃😐