1/4/24

Luckily the Mistress had her phone off through the night. She had 12 texts from people who wanted one clothes horse and when she rose the phone was still beeping. She had been led on a merry dance this morning when these twits kept texting her and then they sent a picture of the letterbox they arrived at. It was her unit number, not street number. Eventually, they sent a photo of the for-sale sign. She suggested they drive in. What part of drive-in did they not understand. Many minutes later they walked in from the road. Then the bombshell statement. We pay you later in internet banking. No, she says, it must, be cash. So off they went to an ATM.

Oh heck, where are they? Lots more people wanted this, and she is hanging out for just $10. At long last, they turned up with the cash. It appears they had only been in NZ a, few months and limited English. Most of the stuff was sold, leaving a small amount and 67 texts she was done for the day. 

There was a panic here after dinner. The Mistress yelled, "Look a RAT". It was looking at her through the ranch slider window. It ran around the concrete and around the pool that my mates were in. Goodness me I hope it didn't go near my friends. I will investigate when the humans go to sleep tonight. Oh, I wonder what I will do if I see it. I shall have to come up with a plan. 

The Mistress phoned some neighbors to keep their doors and windows shut as these things climb walls. We don't want these dirty smelly things running around here. She is talking about getting some rat bait. His Lordship says that will do the trick. I heard her say, what about cats. Evidently, cats do not touch the bait, and the rats take the bait away to their nests, then eat and slowly die. That is a good thing. It appears His Lordship knows a lot about these horrible creatures as he comes from a farming background. He has just informed us these stinky fellas also live in trees, especially water rats. There are lots of trees over the fence and a good lot of blackboy peaches too. I also know there are apples over another fence too. I guess they will not go hungry. 

These small creatures usually have a lot of mates they hang out with....the Mistress is far from impressed at this knowledge. I bet she comes home with the bait tomorrow, and I shall report back what I find.

30/3/24

The humans were up with the birds this morning, due to the open home and she had an appointment. They were out the door very early and as she left, The Mistress looked at me and said, "Don't bother".  What was she referring to I asked. Trixie couldn't understand why I was asking what she was on about. She told me the Mistress won't be at all amused if we create a mess and generally get up to no good. People coming to the open home could be put off by us. Ok, then we will just observe. 

Moonshine shared some of his jokes until the door unlocked and the agent walked in. Gosh, I hope he didn't hear us laughing. We waited and waited for people, but nobody turned up. Obviously, Easter people are busy or away. He has assured the Mistress he still has some people interested. The situation was testing The Mistress's patience. Hey, that fella left some Easter eggs. We better be quick and eat them up. 

Oh no, the door just opened, guess who walked in the door? The Mistress asked what we were doing? Phew, we could have got into serious trouble here. So, it is Easter and where is ours?

31/3/24

These humans have been very busy selling things today with her phone pinging all the time, and she is not getting any peace. But I ask you what does she expect? People are arriving and stuff is flying out the door. His Lordship says it is all too cheap. 

He had to get lunch today, as she was just far too busy. Oh, she did enjoy it too. Bacon and egg sandwich. Yum, she said very loudly. 

Yeah, chocolate at long last. Now I recall last year getting baby easter eggs. This year we got a square of chocolate as she didn't get any small ones. Better than nothing says Moonshine. Oh, yummy says Trixie. Moonshine is beginning to realize that the Mistress is a very kind lady most of the time. He is really looking forward to living in a caravan and visiting places. 

These humans are talking lately about the places they want to visit.  I just wish they would hurry up about it. I guess if nobody is coming to see the place then it may take a while. 

28/3/24

The Mistress was up early and out the door this morning. She suggested we behave as she went out the door. As usual, there was no indication as to how long she would be. 

The old fella who mostly sleeps, opened his eyes today for a very short time. He is a very grumpy and really moody fella too. He went on and on about the noise we make. All this time we thought he slept his life away. He reckons he never gets any peace. Humans make a variety of noises plus the TV and stereo. Then at night, we bounce around this place like lunatics. Gosh, he is in a real mood. 

We took ourselves outside as we didn't want to listen to his mood. We saw a couple of fellas swinging in the trees having a great old time. They enjoy the peace of the garden here, enjoying the atmosphere. Their swings are a bonus and they do not give them up for others to try either.....meanies....!!

29/3/24

The Mistress pushed me off the computer and told me to stay here. She can be bossy sometimes, but I can't complain, or I'll end up being packed in a box with the others who live outside. It's Easter and there will be an open home tomorrow, so she's been cleaning and dusting the place. She even tried to dust me, but I managed to hold my book, which also got dusty.

She has forgotten that I have an aversion to being clean. One day she will get this message loud and clear and one day she will understand the more dirt the better!

His Lordship is kept busy with tasks too and there is also Cricket on today and likes to moan a lot when they do something wrong. It is a pity they can't hear him. I am looking forward to some peace and quiet later. 

26/3/24

 My human companions went out shopping and returned after a long time. They seemed to have bought a lot of groceries from the supermarket, even though they had planned to keep their stocks low this time. However, they did not forget to buy some essential items like Wine and chocolate. Now, I need to start running!!

Last night we explored the garage again as we enjoyed hiding from each other last time. Some things had been moved and easier to get to. Jumping from one to the other was such fun and some empty ones were great fun. Trixie was hidden in an empty one with the flaps back over her and as I jumped, I landed on top of her, and she wasn't impressed at all. 

27/3/24

I am not sure where to complain, because last night I tried to get this blog done when all a sudden the battery died. Things here are not the way they used to be. If I complain then I could lose my privileges around here. When I talked to Trixie about this problem, she suggested that I say nothing. She reckons sometimes it is best to leave things be. I am to learn patience. Oh, I am not at all good with this topic. She also says, like it, or lump it, is what the Mistress would say. Yes, she is correct I have heard her say this numerous times. Why are females always right?

Oh well, we went back to the garage for more fun while the humans slept. The Mistress has a couple of dresses drying on hangers, and Moonshine thought he could swing from them onto a box. Now he doesn't like to put his book down while doing this. So, you can imagine the Kaos that developed. More jokes and laughter. The reason he doesn't put the book away, because he does not want me reading it. I have news for him, and it is all bad.

The Pole dancer lady thought she would swing from a broom, but this didn't end well at all. She limped her way back to the shelf and we didn't see her again. Somehow, I doubt she will do this again. 

We all got a fright when the Mistress started coughing and couldn't stop. Not being able to race back to our places because by this time she was up, and we didn't want to get caught. Staying put was the best idea, as she eventually settled back to her bed. Phew!! 

 24/3/2

 The humans of the house had an open home and left for the day. As a gnome who guards nature over Mother Earth, I observed the visitors and the real estate agent from my spot on the shelf. Thankfully, the humans had informed me of the agent's arrival and provided him with the code to enter the house. I couldn't help but worry about what might happen to me if a burglar were to break in. Being a gnome is one thing, but dealing with a burglar would require danger money. 

When I expressed my concerns to the Mistress, she informed me that the two lion statues at the footpath entrance guard the house. Of course, the Policeman Gnome out there does the job too. 

So, they must all be doing the job for me. This is just great as I am a small person. She also says she will leave these lions, because they were left by previous owners, and they are extremely heavy to move. 

25/3/24

Moonshine was so funny last night when the humans were in bed. He made jokes about all the people from the open home. We laughed so much that we rolled all over the floor, and almost out the door. Even the fella who is always asleep didn't stir. We will not divulge these jokes here as this is gnome business only.

The humans went out today, so we headed outside to see what was happening around the pool,  we have to make the most of these fellas as they will soon be packed into a box for a long time. We discussed this at length out there and they would rather come with us. They all want us to sneak them into the caravan during the night. I told them we would work on it.

No packing has been done over the past couple of days, so I hope The Mistress knows what she is doing. She likes to spend quality time with His Lordship when he is here for some strange reason. 

An update, on this book publishing stuff...it appears it has challenged the daughter in the process of getting all the sizes of this and that sorted. She is getting some assistance and is excited, about being a published writer. 

Now she is wondering what her schoolteachers are thinking as she didn't like school. Being a very small country school, she was the only girl with three boys. These days there would not be many schools like this. Crickey three, boys and the only girl doesn't seem fair to me. Life wasn't easy growing up for her as she had lots of challenges.

22/3/24

In today's Christchurch Star / Western news

Well, the Mistress heard last night that we were in the Paper, so she went off to get extra copies early today. Looks like I am the star of the show. She is quite impressed with what the Reporter has written. She was here three weeks ago getting this story. 

I find this technology challenging because it changes things for me. I just mind my business when I am given the chance to write and do not annoy anybody. Sometimes POOF and it's gone, and this is tough on a mere Gnome trying to put this together. Being a small species means I have far more challenges to overcome.

The Mistress seems to think that, all the years on this planet, her brain is full of information and cannot squeeze anything else in. What a load of........She once said that you never stop learning until the day you die, as the world continues to change and evolve daily. 

I know that our world will change when this house is sold, and we begin our traveling life.

Today I noticed that The Mistress is quite tired and has not achieved so much as other days. I even caught her having 40 winks. Gee don't tell her this, I could get into a whole heap of trouble. 

She went out tonight with her friend for dinner. This meant they would be at least a couple of hours. So, time for some Gnome business. 

We went out to the garage as we hadn't been out there for ages. Boxes and more boxes everywhere. We struggled climbing all over them, but it was fun because we hid from each other. Mr golfing man nearly fell off his perch as an empty box was barely balanced properly and he had to jump to another box as that one landed on the floor. 

We can see the Mistress has been very busy with many boxes ready for storage. She has even written on each one with the contents. This is so good for later should she be looking for something. 

We heard the car pull up and the garage door open, so we took off back to our places on the shelf.

 

 21/3/24

 It feels unfair to be a Gnome around here sometimes. How are we supposed to attend to our Gnome duties when our Mistress never goes out? She seems too busy these days. The device I write on often runs out of charge as our routine has been disrupted. Today marks the third day our Mistress has been sorting through her belongings in her bedroom. Some items are being donated to charity, while others are being set aside for friends. I heard her say she now has stuff for the 6th carload. 

Sounds to me that we better watch it, or we could get the heave-ho too. She is being rather ruthless I feel and one day she could be sorry. She had the cheek to say that there will be so much less for her kids to sort when she departs this world.......OMG what a thing for her to say. She announces that a couple of years ago her son was keen for her to reduce her belongings, so they didn't have to deal with it down the track. I hope she reports that this is being done with mighty gusto. 

The daughter is very concerned about the Gnomes outside. The Mistress suggests that eventually, the Granddaughter will get them but not until she has left this world. 

It appears when they finish traveling the country she has plans for them. She says they can't travel forever and will stay put somewhere sometime. There is a lot of emphasis on departing this world at the moment. Now this concerns me no end. The Mistress is trying to reassure me that she has heaps of time and this is why they want to travel, while they still can. 

She wants to take us on some adventures, that she knows we will enjoy and, like our previous trip to the North Island in 2022-23. We didn't have His Lordship then either. So, this next very large holiday will be with him too and will be a permanent arrangement. They didn't ask my permission either. He wants to catch fish and teach The Mistress too. She is not at all interested in gutting them either, I hear. I had to ask what that meant, as I hadn't seen this done before. Oooohh yuk and now I know this I too am not interested. 

This permission business to have him come with us is a real cheek I feel. The Mistress says if I contributed to the finances then they would get permission, but as I don't then I have no say in the matter. Well, that is me told. Huh.....

19/3/24

The Mistress is on the ball and a very busy beaver. Boxes going in all directions, big and small. His Lordship jumps to attention and completes what is required of her. Luckily he lifts the big boxes and puts them in the garage for her. He also loaded his vehicle with some too, and is taking them to storage. It is handy to have his relatives with a big garage. The Mistress is very grateful that is for sure.

As usual, they went out two times today and we never knew how long they would be. They seem to not come through the garage anymore which is a pity because this was our warning to get back to our places. We now have to tune our hearing to the car coming up the drive, then they come in the gate to the door. 

It doesn't help when there are boxes everywhere causing us huge obstacles. As for Moonshine, he thinks he is the bee's knees. Cracking jokes while jumping up to the shelf just doesn't help us at all. How can we laugh and jump at the same time? Gnomes always give things a good go, but this laughing while jumping is simply impossible. I just wish they would put him in a box and tape it shut quick. 

We heard that they went and looked at a large car to buy today, and it has to pull three and a half tons. It appears His Lordship learned how to negotiate today. The Mistress seems to have some tricks that really surprised him. The salesman too was taken aback when she said you can do better than this for cash. She walked away when he didn't cooperate and asked her what she would pay. Na na na that's not the game, you tell me she announces. She is not that silly. It appears she learned some tricks from her brother a few years ago. So watch this space.

I've just been told to get off here as the computer needs charging. Bossy boots. She again reminded me that we may not get on here everyday due to packing but will do our best.

17/3/24

Jeepers the Mistress was up bright and early to get organized for the first open home. Now I have a complaint here. She left us all tied up in a bag when returning home from being away. We were not the priority obviously in getting unpacked. Humans do not like hurt feelings and as a mere Gnome trying to understand the other species we have hurt feelings too. So, we spent our time popping this terrible bubble wrap. By the next morning, we became friends with this stuff and enjoyed the popping experience. That coughing lady in Waimate gave The Mistress this stuff as it was in a bag shape. 

We overheard a conversation about my fragile body and the thoughts about getting broken. And so, they should be concerned too. So I better not moan again.

Lots of making everything perfect before they went out the door and left the agent to sell the place. Now he has almost done this already. My lips are sealed. I have had a talking to and cannot pass on what I know.

They are eager to move on to the next chapter.....the Honeymoon and skipping the wedding.

18/3/24

They are really busy beavers here today. The Mistress has His Lordship on his toes and, assisting the packing process. She even made a list of chores, because he always forgets and now there is no excuse. He is good at these excuses just to wind her up. He is a very handy fella to have around the place and moving heavy boxes.

The spare room wardrobe is bare, and the car is full and the contents ready to go to charity. She started her wardrobe too, cleared some shelves then gave up. A bigger job for the start of the day. Sounds to me she may be pooped for today.

 

16/3/24

 I had a busy week, but I am concerned about my travels with the humans. Although I'm a tough gnome, the Mistress worries that I'll break during our journeys. Trixie and I don't like being wrapped up because we want to see where we're going, just like when we traveled to the North Island. However, now that His Lordship also travels with us, things are different. As a mere gnome in a house of humans, it's not easy to adjust to this new lifestyle. Hence, I hope the humans will make a special place for us in their new seven-seater car, which they plan to buy. This will help us to be comfortable and safe during our travels. If they don't, I may have to resort to letting the tires down to increase their stress levels. Remember, life is full of changes and challenges, and we must adapt to them. If it's good enough for the Mistress to inform us of this, then I must inform them likewise. His Lordship also travels with us, things are different. As a mere Gnome in a house of humans, it's not easy to adjust to this new lifestyle. Hence, I hope the humans will make a special place for us in their new seven-seater car, which they plan to buy. This will help us to be comfortable and safe during our travels. If they do not, I may have to resort to letting the tires down to increase their stress levels. 

On Thursday we parked up at our friend's backyard in Waimate. They seemed excited to see us because it had been a while since we saw them. She still coughs and coughs this woman, and time she gave up smoking. The son arrived home just after we arrived to assist with plugging into their power. Cor Blimey he has three vehicles and a huge garage. I am puzzled that he can only drive one at a time, but seems to need three, plus his mums in another garage. I did see some extra concrete pads not doing anything so I guess he could hatch another car and garage to add to his collection.

A visit to Auntie and Uncle along the road was a great time to catch up. These dudes are not young anymore and the old biddy is far from stable on her feet. She makes a great cup of tea, and the table is always full of tasty treats. 

Uncle enjoys sharing about his younger days. He is well into his 90s now and slowing up a bit. They listened to the human's plans of touring NZ, with two special Gnomes.!! That Auntie laughs a lot, and they think these plans are a great idea. Auntie nearly fell off her perch when the Mistress said they would skip the wedding and just have a Honeymoon.

Huh, the humans visited some other people too and didn't take us. Trixie and I went exploring the garden and yard where we were staying. Not only does the Man of the house have 3 vehicles he also plays with his Tonka toys amongst the stones. I would have thought he outgrew these years ago. He and his Mum are partial to playing on dirt roads in his land rover at times. Some people just never grow up. I am informed that these Tonka toys are quite old because this fella is not young anymore, I better not guess his age because I could get into a whole heap of trouble.

Last night we joined all these humans for social time. 

Man, most of them can talk. It was very hard for us to get a word in. They all do not stop and just breathe. Now His Lordship is just too slow and shy to add to the conversation. When he does chip in, he only finds a few words at a time. We cannot rush this fella apparently. I believe there is talk of making a movie, but my lips are sealed.

Tonight, the Mistress is preparing for an open home tomorrow. She has been a busy bee. I am looking forward to checking out these people who want to downsize their homes. I have my prime position on the shelf to watch and listen.

13/3/24

The humans deserted us today. How dare they do this. I shall have a word with them tonight. It is Wednesday and golf day for His Lordship. I heard the Mistress say she had some shopping to do and a car wash. Does she realize that the more she buys the more she has to pack. Female shoppers have methods for their madness and can always justify the reasons to purchase. This is a bit of a female psychology that I shall never understand.

When the drizzle stopped, Trixie and I went out to check on this menagerie of chooks, roosters and bantams. There were even baby chooks. Gosh, they all do make a noise!  It was quite deafening at times too. They have these weird habits of moving the dirt around they are pecking like mad while chirping funny noises. Some of them fight with each other too. They have a huge yard to go about their habits and still annoy each other. 

There is this white cat, and he goes to the Guinea Pigs and terrorizes them. He sits right beside the wire, and they seem to know that he cannot get to them. My guess is they are probably laughing at him. 

We went off to search for the baby guinea pigs and found that His Lordship had shifted their cage. How were we to find them now? Maybe they are too small to be going outside yet. I wondered what they eat. Trixie says that the mum could be feeding them her milk. I guess that figures. 

Finding the ducks around and on the pond was interesting. They dig around a bit too. It appears that most of the bird life here just dig, in the soil or water for their food. Jeepers they seem to work mighty hard to fill their tummies! They do this all day long. I wondered if they could wear their beaks out. Trixie thought this was really funny. they may get new ones at the Warehouse where everyone gets a bargain. 

We thought we had struck gold finding a white egg under a bush and not a gold one either. His Lordship gathers these up every day. The lady of the house sells these each week we hear. My head wondered off dreaming about finding golden eggs. Arh well dreams are free.

Tomorrow we are off to Waimate to catch up with friends and family and are taking the caravan with us for 2 days.

Gee, this might mean that I can't get on here. We shall see what happens.

12/3/24

We were placed into a bag and transported in His Lordship's vehicle near Mayfield. They said it wasn't a long journey from where we were. Upon arrival, we were surprised to find that His Lordship's brother's accommodation was a large bus. As we stepped inside, the vehicle moved and wobbled with every step. We were concerned, as a strong wind or storm could have caused a major problem. His Lordship assured us that our new caravan would not have this issue but mentioned that it could be interesting if it were windy. This experience is all, about embracing new challenges and exploring life on the road.

Interesting smells going on here cooking their lunch on a BBQ. The Mistress kept an eye on the garlic bread cooking in the oven. Trixie and I enjoyed the views looking out the window. The irrigation was in full swing keeping the grass growing for all these cows around the place. Yet another dairy farm, as they are everywhere now reporting the Mistress. She remembers this area used to be crops and sheep and how time changes. 

This computer has a mind of its own. Strange things just happen and everything changes. Somebody whom I won't name, talks about having senior moments at times. Maybe this is what happened here.

Now here past Ashburton His Lordship says it very rarely rains. Well, I have news for him. The past 2 days drizzle and more drizzle. It seems to stop occasionally, then down it comes again. The Mistress says Christchurch doesn't get much rain at all.

A strange thing happened here this afternoon. These humans were looking at a photo of The Mistress's late mother and a friend who we are parking at on Thursday, when a text came in from her at the very same time. Weird if you ask me. Spooky.

His Lordship asked the Mistress to bring her camera and me to see some baby Guinea pigs today. Jeepers I wanted to see these. Off we went. He was cleaning out the cages these fellas live in, and 4 little fluffy things were huddled in the corner. They think that they may be 2 days old if that. 

 

11/3/24

Crickey the roof must be thin in this caravan. The rain falls at different paces and sounds. These humans go to sleep then later when Trixie and I are playing a Gnome game they start yacking and more yacking. Then they laugh, and there is no peace for several hours. At home, His Lordship is up by 5-5.30am, having breakfast and here he seems to go back to sleep in this country air. The Mistress too went back to sleep thank goodness as she gets a bit grumpy if short on sleep. 

The humans went out this morning without us. They test-drove some cars and by the sounds of it, she wasn't at all impressed, as they were too high up to get into and, especially for their older age. Trixie and I could have added our input here, but it wasn't required.

We climbed over lots of stuff to get to the window and to see where all the noise was coming from. These chooks and crowing roosters make a heck of a noise. Watching them scratch in the dirt and now mud, due to the rain entertained us for a few hours. We were still at the window when the humans arrived home. They asked if we had fun. What a crazy question to ask. We had to do something and looking outside was a good pastime and we were dry in here. 

My strong aversion to getting wet continues despite the Mistress trying to wash me from time to time. She dislikes dirt immensely. There is some irrigation going in the paddock next door, and the odd fella drives past presuming to go and milk the cows.  

There are four cats here and we have only seen two of them. Goodness knows where the others hang out. Maybe they dislike Gnomes looking out for them. The white one is often around and occasionally the ginger one. I heard the Mistress growl at the ginger one last night because he was a bully to the white one.

We heard the humans announce that they are going to Mayfield tomorrow. His Lordship's brother is farm-sitting over there, and they thought he may enjoy some company. Now I wonder if they take us with them. I shall report later.

10/3/24

Things are happening at such a fast pace that I am now quite dizzy. The Mistress has the house looking good enough to buy. Sounds like a few are interested and it's not even on the Market yet. She shoved us all wrapped up and, in a bag, we went to the car, to goodness only knows where. At least she remembered to take us this time!!!!!

Now she had the cheek to put us in the car long before we actually left. It appears we were to be out of the road while she finished inside. As if we would make a mess!

On the road, and then we arrived at His Lordship's Caravan down at Hinds. It appears he is farm-sitting all these feathered and furry friends. There are chooks everywhere, bantams, roosters, about 50 guinea pigs, white ducks, a horse, four cats, couple of cows, which are separate from the main milking herd that other people look after. The dogs went on holiday with the owners.

These guinea pigs are very anti-social. The Mistress took us to meet them all and they had the cheek to take off into their huts. How rude. The horse seemed ok eventually. He took his time and came to the fence for a nosey. He grunted with very weird noises. Sniffed and snorted and enjoyed The Mistress stroking his cheeks. She reckons he smiled at her. Yeah, right...not. 

Sitting with the garden ornaments for a photo shoot was interesting. I wondered where they all were as there were not as many as the Mistress in her garden. 

Oh, to think that she is going to put everything into storage really worries me. She says His Lordship's family have very kindly offered to store them. I just hope our friends do not get up to the mischief on their lawn like we do at our place. These people would not tolerate their mischief. Oh well, I shall be enjoying a very different lifestyle. They will have to look after themselves. If they get told off that is their problem. I hope they keep any alcohol locked up too. 

This afternoon we went for a ride to the sea which is close by here. His Lordship knows this area well and pointed out where he chopped down trees on different farms. 

We passed by some interesting letterboxes. The Mistress was quite intrigued with all the varieties. An owl, plane, helicopter, Fonterra trucks, bee, ladybird, rabbit, Minion, fertilizer spreader, and a tractor. She thought the farmers were trying to outdo each other.

I wonder what tomorrow will bring. His Lordship says test driving some cars to see how they compare with the Ford Everest they really want. Gee, I hope they take us too. I would give my opinion too.

Rangitata Mouth

 News flash

At long last, I can spill the beans about what is going on here. I couldn't rest the past couple of weeks and the Mistress is very mean making me not talk about what is going on.

It appears the house is going up for sale next week and they want to move on and buy a HUGE caravan to live in and tour NZ. Trixie and I are some of the chosen few to live this caravan life. It is a 30-foot thing that is very posh she says. Strange people have been coming and going, there are heaps of boxes being packed up which explains why some of my mates have disappeared. I am yet to understand about where these boxes are going. When will I see them again.?

His Lordship has a caravan, but it's only a puppy and not big enough for us all to live in. These humans seem to be very excited about their next adventure. There have been many sleepless nights going on here and they even sit up in bed in the middle of the night, looking at pictures of this caravan. Of course, I am not privy to even take a look at the pictures of this monstrosity. They say we could be traveling for 3-5 years. It appears she has a rather large birthday later this year and wants to travel before they get too old.  The Mistress has itchy feet and wants to see more of our country and show His Lordship. He likes fishing and hasn't been able to do any since meeting her. I even heard the Mistress telling people that they will, skip the wedding and just have a honeymoon. One long honeymoon. Ahh just think of the stories I can write. I wonder if she will take me up in the hot air balloon again. That was so much fun, especially watching her face change!!

They also say they will do house and farm sitting their way around. At first, they will do the South Island and start off where it will be warm. She says it could take a couple of months or so to sell and in the meantime, she will empty draws and have a clear out.

His Lordship has a small collection of Gnomes and asked if he could put them in the caravan. Of course, she announces. I think she plans on using blue tack. His Gnomes are small, and she only plans on taking a few others smaller than me. So where are the rest going when we leave here. Storage she says. What is storage? 

While I try to sleep, I ponder how her swift sport will tow this Monstrosity. It appears they have to buy a bigger car and put the swift, into storage. Gee, I am so pleased I am not going into Storage.

Another couple of very big things are happening here too this week. We have 2 books about to go on Amazon. The daughter has got this job of getting it on their due to technology, as this is extremely challenging for the Mistress. It needs a younger brain she says, as her brain is full!

AND...... a reporter was here the other day getting a story about what these humans are about to do. She reckons others will enjoy seeing this story. It was supposed to be in this week, but the lady was sick, and, so it didn't get in. Disappointing but the staff need to be well to do their job. From what I could hear she was happy to hear all the Mistress's stories. I guess this means we will be famous again.

As you can see it is all go here, and the Mistress seems to have everything under control. She has regular rests, and this keeps His Lordship happy. 

4/3/24

 OMG, there is so much going on here and I am not allowed to utter a word. It's a tough life being a mere Gnome. Strange people keep popping in and out, the phone keeps the Mistress on her toes. She gets so confused with everything and needs to have a sit down often. His Lordship keeps the Mistress calm and strongly enforces rest and often. Oh, I so wish I could share what is going on. But my lips are sealed.

I am allowed to share that our books, one Children's and one adult will be hitting the Amazon market this week. Oh, there is so much happening here that I am bursting. The Mistress says that all will be revealed soon. But how soon. I just want to tell people now, but I have been told that if I spill the beans, I will be, and not could be, she says, in very serious trouble around here and that I will not be at all happy with the consequences. 

His Lordship is a busy beaver too, and the Mistress always has a job for him and says he will never be bored around our Mistress. I just wish I was allowed to spill the beans.

She had a friend here yesterday doing her garden. This is a first, she always does this herself, but times have changed, and she accepts help when it is offered. 

The floor is clear too and we have so much more room to do our Gnome stuff at night. Some of our friends have gone missing and we cannot find them. We will continue to keep looking and am sure they will turn up. They could be hiding from us, so I am sure they will turn up.

That fella with the wheelbarrow has been moved to a better possie because the coffee table waltzed out the front door.  

Oh, I am bursting here and could do with a beer or two. Trixie is also bursting with information. We talk a lot when these humans are asleep and also excited. Our lips are sealed. 

 1/3/24

Hey, I need to report that something is going on here and I am not being told what is going on. There is so much activity and people popping in and out. I have been told not to say what I am seeing. I feel like I am sitting on a huge amount of information that I may burst. It is just not fair. 

A lovely young lady came to our house today and sat and talked about me for a whole hour. Goodness only knows why? So how come they can talk, but I can't. Oh, it is a tough life being a gnome. 

All Moonshine can do is crack jokes about what is going on here when the Mistress moves out of the room. 

This is all I am allowed to say at present, so watch this space, as I am assured that this is an exciting time going on here. My lips are sealed.