28/1/23

Its bucketing down

What a carry-on. This rain is not at all amusing, and the mistress got soaked loading the car. 

We headed over to the daughters to say goodbye. We had been here in Tauranga for 2 months with 2 house sits. But more drama from that mistress. She announced that the cell phone wasn't connected to the car phone and being technology, it was totally out of her ability to sort. So, the son-in-law got the job, the poor man helped the mother-in-law again. The daughter also said that the freebies we got weren't loaded on the phone. 

So off they went down to the mall. Now let me tell you something, but don't tell her..... She's been advising the daughter on how to go about getting a car park. VISUALISE she says. Works every time. She knew the mall would be busy, and BINGO. A park is free for them. Now the next bombshell she dropped was visualizing that the shop they needed wasn't busy as they were in a hurry.  

A staff member was just finishing with a customer when the mistress pounced. The rest of the staff were yacking at each other as no customers were around. 

The daughter could only grin and say nothing. Proof that this method works. Maybe the daughter will try this method. But she must not have any doubts, or it won't work. 

Gosh, she's a wise woman, this old friend, full of wisdom.

Says she's been around the block a few times. 

Time to go as all was sorted and that family needed to get their life back. 

It rained and rained all the way to Taupo. She wanted to stop and see things but no point. A comfort stop and a cupper at a place she raved about. Lava Glass. They had all sorts of beautiful glass ornaments and vases, and it just as well they stayed in the shop and not her car. There is no room for a pin let alone these things. She enjoyed a cup of tea there too and got to see a fella blowing glass too. I had to stay in the car. With all the rain she was in a mood, so it was best I stay perfectly still and not even rock in my chair. 

They also had glass ornaments outside in the garden and she was very disappointed it was raining and could only see pictures of the garden. Just as well I would say because she has all sorts of things in her garden. No room for a pin.

We arrived in Taupo to a beautiful B & B. Lovely host and a very comfortable night. 

Dodged the rain while loading the car, then down it came again. We couldn't even see the lake. So off to Whanganui we went.

Arrived at blue sky and sunshine and 27 degrees. No rain in sight but the road showed us the damage it had caused earlier. The mistress is pretty good at dodging the odd rock or two and some potholes.

We get here about 2pm and she's hungry and found a KFC. Said a burger would go down just great. As we pull up, guess what place was across the road and a monarch butterfly straight in front of us.

Suzuki Car sales of course and the butterfly was delighted because this was where the lady from marketing was based.

Guess where we are going tomorrow?

27/1/23

Getting ready to Leave

We have 1 more day here, then travel south she says, and away from this terrible weather. It sure knows how to rain up here. 

The daughter is still sorting her phone, while the mistress packs. The granddaughter has enjoyed playing with Ziggy the cat and they are great mates as this cat talks and talks. So, she talks back, and everyone is happy. 

That crazy cat even talks to a gnome. who does he think he is?

I am more than happy to just read my book. Look he sniffed me and rubbed his head on my hat. What a carry-on. I just want to say b.....off. That cat sat there for ages and wouldn't get the message.

There is another cat here too, Bindi, she's cute, but doesn't hang around like this fella. She talks too but Ziggy has much more to say and shows her that he wears the pants around here. Fluffy pants though!!! That mistress struggles to get photos of her, but look here, the other day Bindi was drinking water from a huge bowl and put her paw in it then licked her paw repeatedly. How strange is that.? The mistress didn't have her camera handy, laughed and laughed at this carry-on. 

It appears she often does this. How strange these animal species are.

Oh, and humans...........😂😂😂😂😂😂

The mistress is going to really miss these 2 cats. Both would get on her bed but never together as Ziggy made sure of that. They have loud purrs with their chatter.

26/1/23

TV Debut

That mistress had me up so early today. I was to wash spik and span and brush my teeth and comb my locks for the TV crew. What utter rubbish.

When will the mistress realize that we gnomes don't do such things?

That Jenny May person will never know that I've not washed, or cleaned my teeth, as she's miles away in front of another TV camera. 

Gnomes live carefree lives, and some of us special ones get to travel all around the north island, unwashed. 

So off we went in her racy car, down to the statues on the strand. Her hair was a mess, and she had the cheek to make sure I had done mine.

She looked like she had just gotten out of bed! It's very windy was her excuse. There is always an excuse. 

Nobody saw that just as we crossed over to the studio a huge train came roaring through and the bells were ringing making it hard to hear the producer in her earpiece. Maybe she didn't clean her ears?

Anyway, all went well in the end, and everyone was happy. 

The feedback the mistress enjoyed, and Suzuki Marketing was extremely happy and have us on their Facebook page. 

Messages and phone calls galore with nothing but a positive debut.

Golly gosh we are famous now. My other mates at home have missed out on this opportunity, as I was specially chosen to go on this holiday.

I must show the mistress how grateful I am for this wonderful experience, so I will put my thinking cap on. Hey its already on😇. LOL

 The mistress says she always has the special radar she tunes into. What on earth is she talking about? My guides, she says and often gets an orange monarch butterfly swooping around in front of her, She, says this is always to confirm that they agree with whatever she is doing. What utter rubbish. She hasn't ever told me this before. I was politely told that there are some things you share and some things you don't or haven't been an opportunity. 

Another thing she announced was that she thinks her mother in spirit had something to do with this media stuff. She had a warped sense of humor too.! It was her 1-year anniversary this week. 

I think I will have to sleep on this and read up about it in my books.

Next to do was get her cell phone problems sorted. The daughter who is handy with technology couldn't solve the problem. My poor mistress finds all this just too much and ended up buying a new phone. I waited in the car and stayed out of trouble. The shop took hour and hours to change old phone stuff over. 5 hours and the humans were exhausted, as was mentally challenging for the mistress and the daughter wasn't too impressed with the shop either. Her poor husband had to wait till 9pm to get his dinner as she got stuck in traffic. 

Oh, I am glad us gnomes don't have these things to worry about.

Us gnomes don't get mentally challenged. We just keep out of the human way and read up on why they do this to themselves. They are such a crazy species our books say! Gosh, don't tell her this. 😂

It was a long day, up early for the TV debut, then this phone business.

 

All fixed

25/1/23

The mistress has a Son-in-law. Was a 2-minute job for him to get the back bumper fixed. Easy Peesy. Well done, Simon. That mistress is very grateful.

We won't talk about the painting work.!!!

The mistress and I have had a quiet day today. She needed to get more packing done and ready for Saturday.

It just as well too because about 2 hours ago she got word from TV1 that we are on tomorrow. She sent out lots of texts, phone calls etc.

I have just seen my toilet bag out ready for something and she need not get ideas anytime soon.

Huh, she tells me I need a spruce-up for the TV camera. When will she learn that Gnomes don't wash or shower?

The car and she get washed, and that is it. 

Radio-controlled car racing

22/1/23

Now, this mistress has a son you know, from Hamilton and today he was racing near Tauranga. He thought she and I would like a small drive out to Teck Park where they race all kinds of cars. Oh, not ours pleasssse.

Gee this bloke is really tall, much taller than my mistress. He was well set up with his mates under the gazebo. Table for each, tools galore, and banter flying all around the place. They suck on these dummies things and puff out smoke, thinking they are s... hot. They say it calms the nerves, as it's stressful racing cars. They are only toys for goodness' sake. Oh, that's right it's serious business.  They even talked about him being the NZ champion in 2001. Clever Clogs Jeff.

I heard some swear words too because, after his first race, the air of calm was not. He blew a diff, then if that wasn't enough, he seized the motor too. If you're going to do a job, you may as well do it all properly I suppose. 

So, the banter across the table increased. His mate said, "hey race my spare car". 

The dust was flying off these things, and they need wings because they also fly from 1 hill to the next. They crash into each other, and marshals have to get them back on track. 

I sure hope that mistress doesn't get any ideas of flying from hill to hill in our Suzuki. There will be trouble if she does, and we don't want the red and blue lights following us.

Gee they were kept busy as they were always crashing or spinning out. 

The mistress was covered in the dirt too. HEHE, she showered before going out too. 

So, would you believe he won the race? Clever lad her son and his mate were pleased his car won. 

 Going to the loo was a mission, as she had to drive to find it and found it to be a hole in the ground. She wasn't impressed but I guess these blokes don't worry about these things. 

Anyway, was a good day out and something very different from the usual sightseeing.

Mother and Son bonding she says!!

 

 

21/1/23 

Matua

Another sunny day here so the Mistress and her daughter set off to get some more car photos with yours truly. Matua is a lovely place and would have been much better if the tide wasn't out. A good view of the Mount and a cruise ship today. 

Oh, heck she is still going on about going on a jolly cruise. I guess if she wins the lotto this week then my guess is certain to happen.

We still haven't had a discussion on this matter. I will wait for my opportunity, I think. 

Now I have some unpleasant news to report about the car. You see the daughter wanted to drive, and you know what women drivers do. While backing and not paying attention to the backing camera, into a wooden fence she went. A small amount of paint was taken off, together with knocking the back bumper out a fraction. 

That mistress wasn't amused or impressed. The day before she managed to squeal the Tyres too. Somehow, I reckon the mistress won't let her drive again as she's driving the mistress up the wall.

It's now counting down the time for our stay in Tauranga. We take off on Saturday and head to Taupo for the night, then goodness only knows where.

She's going to miss these adorable cats. Ziggy likes sleeping on her bed in the daytime and enjoys a kiss or two on the forehead upon her arrival home. The mistress better not start that nonsense on me or there will be real trouble around here.

Bindi, well she's a real Dag you know. This morning while the mistress was in the kitchen, Bindi put her paw in the water dish and then licked the paw over and over many times. This went on for some time and no camera was around. In the end, she put that paw in properly. Maybe she didn't want to wash and thought it was better in the bowl. We should have offered some soap. !!

20/1/23

This was our celebration last night with the excitement of a story going on Stuff News online. We sure deserved a wine or two after all the excitement and enable us to settle down for the evening. Please note, the mistress gave me my own glass of bubbly. Yeah, but do you see that she has more than me. 

After much debate, it was agreed that I'm just a little bloke and any more would probably make me fall out of my chair. It wasn't zero alcohol either. So, I guess I had to be very careful. Arh she really cares about me. 😍 The mistress knows what's best.....sometimes!!! I saw her on the wine again tonight, but sshh she thinks I didn't see.

She's having yet another grumble here as she's having trouble with the margins.  Her mood is not great at present so I will just read my book. 

So, the outcome of yesterday was a lady from Suzuki marketing asking if the mistress could permit them to use our photos of our car...oops her car. I must get this right!! What about my permission.

The mistress apologized and asked me, so I'm chuffed to be asked.

We didn't have a lot of car photos, so after a discussion with the family it was decided that today we would find some interesting places today.

But first I must tell you that the other bombshell that dropped, was TV1 Breakfast news want to do a live board cast next week and are awaiting a reply as to which day. Gosh, we will be famous, because the whole of NZ has access to this. Gee whizz this is big stuff for a small fella. 

The mistress is excited but nervous already. As for me I shall just go with the flow and be on my best behavior! She said I am to have a shower before we leave because those reporters will know that I haven't washed and will be smelly. Now I have news for them. GNOMES don't wash.

If they are lucky, I may comb my beard but that's all.  

So off we went to get some petrol and a car wash, then off to Te Puke for lunch.

The last photo has Mount Maunganui in the background.

I wonder what tomorrow will bring. 

 

News Flash

19 January 2023

All this publicity today has brought out the media for TV1 Breakfast and Suzuki for promotional purposes.

Check out this link for today's Stuff pages.

 Meet the gnome travelling around the North Island with his 'mistress' | Stuff.co.nz

Oh, it's busy life being a gnome.

Mount Maunganui

18/1/23

Another sunny day here in paradise, and she packs me off to the mount for a walk around it. But first its lunch time and she's very thirsty. 

Again, it's me on the water and she's into this beer. That mistress needs a talking to because I have been a good fella really. We have had quite a debate on this issue and says next time I will have my own bottle like hers. I was told that she was preparing for this big walk and needed this more than me. 

I'm perched in her backpack while she does all the hard work. I peeped out at times, and she was huffing and puffing and could feel her heart beating flat tack. I suppose I should worry if I didn't feel it.

Can you imagine me doing CPR on her. Now let's get this straight, this is NOT what us gnomes do.

She stopped for lots of rests but don't tell anyone. Oh, that's right we are going onto the Stuff news and every Tom Dick and Harry will know. Hehehehe. Shh shh. Don't tell her for goodness' sake.

She spotted the sea lion that's made his home at the Mount. He looked so happy in the water doing summer saults. Now this sea lion is called Oscar and is very well known around here.

The tide was coming in and she copped some spray from the waves.

I was nice and dry in the backpack and read my book in peace. Then she disturbed me yet again for another photo shoot. 

The mistress really likes this city, except some tricky round abouts that have traffic lights on them and lines everywhere. I just keep quiet because she is often not amused, and I've heard the odd swear word coming out. She reckons these round abouts are designed by men and they haven't a clue. They need to put women in these jobs or GNOMES 😂😆😂😂

On finishing the walk, she said she would rest then do some retail therapy. Another favourite shop of hers is called Augustine and was on our route back to the car. Any excuse, she said she deserved to buy something pretty for all her hard work on this walk. Humans I don't know. 

The young shop assistant was very interested in our travels and showed me to her. Gosh you want to see what she bought. I need my shades on when she wears this, oh, and she bought 2 Kaftans. A bright pink and a blue. Shes tickled pink with her purchases. 

 Rose Garden

17/1/23

Making the most of the sunny weather we headed off to this place down on the Strand. The old mistress muttered away as she walked up the smelly track. It hadn't been maintained and she was far from happy.

Reaching the top was a controlled temperature house with all sorts of pretty things she muttered. More posing, now which is my best side?

These orchids were stunning she says. She knew a friend who likes these, and she emailed some last night.

Next were the roses. The mistress couldn't believe what a terrible state they were in. Lacked proper food and their condition was shocking and she was far from impressed.

It's not worth showing you anymore photos as they're like this. The daughter says it's all the bad weather we have had here.

The mistress liked this water feature. Very peaceful she says.

Those humans I don't know. I will just read my book, I think. At least I can stay out of trouble.   

As we headed off, she had a phone call from Stuff news. The daughter decided that they may like a story about us. WHAT on earth is going on here. A story for all to see about what we get up to. 

Gosh do they know about what happened to me on Monday in Paeroa. They soon will. I will make sure of it.

So, we are going to be in the news online. I am sure that will make interesting reading. Gosh we will be famous. YIPPEE

Paeroa

16/1/23

Well, the mistress talked her head off to the family about her favourite shop she found on a recent day trip to meet the people for a house and pet sit in February. It's called Earth Angel Magic. She convinced the granddaughter who had some spending money, that she would love the fairies and angels, gems, and of course GNOMES and many other treasures. It was another sunny day in paradise, so we headed off in the little red sports car. Hopefully no flashing lights will follow us.

The mistress was overjoyed to be back in her happy place, and the granddaughter didn't take long to gather her supplies and of course short of $3.  but this is what Nans are for isn't it.

That mistress came out with a small bag full. She wouldn't show me. The cheek of her, she said it's not gnome business and to just read my book.

They were all hanging out for lunch so headed to the Lemon and Paeroa Cafe but were closed so another photo shoot where I could pose like I always do and always full of smiles. 

 A great day for a Boat ride

Oh, my goodness I hope she doesn't drop me as I can't swim. I don't have my togs. I'm terrified and she's not listening. Where's the life raft around here. HELP HELP.   

We jumped on the boat and sat down to calm my nerves. I needed a beer, and she wouldn't get me one. The mistress said get over it as you're ok and to stop moaning. That girl of hers she's a cheeky thing and I am keeping an eye on her because she gets up to all sorts of mischief. 

Now this boat which is run by Kewpie Cruises first sailed in 1953. Gosh that was a long time ago. 70 Years this year. We went past some interesting islands, lots of boats all shapes and sizes. And 2 huge, big cruise ships. One of them was being loaded with fuel from a little boat.

Do you know that mistress took me up to meet the Skipper. I couldn't believe my eyes as this was a female. Her name was Amy and she is 

training her brother to be a skipper. Gosh 2 in the family. She was pretty too, and her helper was so cute. She asked lots of questions about the mistress's collection back home in Christchurch.

 Market day

Saturday

Off we went in her little red-hot car that people are raving about. They turn their heads when they see us coming or going! Maybe they are nervous of her driving. At least ours doesn't have bullet holes in it...Yet!

The mistress was mighty pleased with herself today. Everyone commented on her dress, and this made her head swell. Gosh she talks some rubbish at times you know. I have to listen to it day after day. 

Oh, it's tough life being a gnome.

So, we made our way to these Tauranga markets, to see what they are all raving about. We met 2 separate people, who had published their books, so the mistress asked lots and lots of questions, and took a picture of me posing on a pile in a tent. At least I was in the shade and not being baked.

This fella had about 10 published. What on earth could the mistress write about anyway, and when does she think she's going to do this as she doesn't sit still long enough. Humans, I don't know. 

Then we met a lovely lady who published 1 book for kids about life on a farm. That mistress could of yacked to her for hours and we didn't have hours spare.

It was hungry work walking all around in the blazing sun. Gee we just got fried and our skin changed colour. Not good for a gnome to change colour you know. She may never find me!! 

 That young girl said she was hungry and wanted shade, so we found a spot and they fed their faces. That girl will only eat chips, and she tried to feed me some. I'm getting tired of chips you know. She will look like a chip one day and we can't have a gnome looking like a chip either.

We even saw a big ship over the top of some buildings. The mistress is always talking about going on a cruise. HOPE she leaves me at home, because my chair would never stop rocking and could make my head go all funny and I would never be able to read. Not to laugh about either please.

Friday 13th

So, what's that I can see above us.

 Blue sky the mistress announced. No rain today that fella on the radio said. Yippy I am so happy about this cos we need to get out there and do things. 

The Granddaughter wanted to take her scooter to her school as they have a special track for kids to ride and I had to pay attention to the RULES on the wall. So, I jumped down there too for a ride in this sunshine that we haven't seen in a very long time. Boy that girl goes fast, and I nearly fell off. She could break me you know and that wouldn't be funny. Even although the granddaughter was very careful, I was extremely nervous. A female driver you know!!!!

It was extremely hot down there and needed to go and inspect those flowers the mistress was raving about and seek some shade.

Then we went to another track on the other side of the school. Too hot for me to get down there for another ride so the mistress plonked me in a tree for some shade. The sun was so bright I couldn't

see the pages and read. Not good when a gnome can't read his book.

Once that girl had had enough, we went to a local secondhand book shop. OMG it was a huge shop and books everywhere. The local library was nothing compared to this place. The mistress said that I might find more books to read. I had news for her, as us Gnomes get our books from a special place that only gnomes know about, and we don't share our secrets with those humans. These books of ours, humans wouldn't understand. These are for Gnome reading only. Not fit for human eyes. They might go blind if they tried to read our books. hehehhehhehehe😂😂

I kept an eye on this mistress, because we don't want her reading naughty stuff do, we. Her friends and family wouldn't approve at all.

That daughter and granddaughter can growl you know. I've heard them at it many times......but she just pokes face at them. From where I am perched, I see all angles of their mischief. Us gnomes we know better manners than those humans.

So off home with her loot. Goodness knows when she will sit still to read these. Shes always doing something.