Happy New Year

1/1/24

These humans were picked up by a club shuttle with some of the village neighborhood.  Huh, this meant they would be out until very late. This is good news for the rather large Gnome family. We had a ball, running around the garden, jumping in the pool, and generally yahooing all around the place. Some stuff I cannot report here, for obvious reasons, some of which are these resident humans. The Mistress is known for getting stroppy with us at times, so we are mindful to obey her instructions. Mind you what she doesn't know won't hurt her either! 

We heard some strange noises too around midnight, probably fireworks, and some yelling going on. Some people over the fence must have been celebrating too, and we decided to run back to our places on the shelf in case the humans arrived home. We were no sooner inside when we heard people walking home. The fellas who were dragging the chain had to get a wriggle on or get caught out. Some of them fell over each other in the rush. 

That Policeman outside the gate wasn't impressed with us either. He gets his instructions from the Mistress, and man he is a real mean and tough bloke to get along with. He really ticked off some of my friends because they wanted to get over to that fake grass and see what mischief they could get up to, but that cop was writing tickets flat out for disobeying the rules. Cor blimey, I was glad I chose to stay inside the gate. 

The humans were glad to be home and way past their usual bedtime. Asleep in no time at all, the house was quiet once again. We had a few giggles about our mischief tonight and the tickets that the Policeman handed out. Am not sure if he locked anybody up, but I am sure to find out eventually. 

A crazy night for humans celebrating the New Year change at midnight. The night is no different from any other I say, but I am informed that some humans do like to celebrate the new year. Crazy I say, but I am only a Gnome in a human world.

30/12/23 - 31/12/23 

Well, there is only today left before the new year I have been advised. Each day is the same for me. Why do they change the year I ask. It concerns the moon, and I am to read my books. I would rather the Mistress told me, as it would make my life easier. She has other things to do apparently. She also suggested I ask my new mate in the garage. What would he know? The Mistress announced that I should get to know him more because we could share our books and learn from each other. The problem is I do not want to know about one of his books, but I guess he may have some others. How come she knows best. Trixie says it is because she is a wise human woman with lots of knowledge gained in her lifetime. Well, how does she cram this into her brain then? This could take a long time to find out, I think. 

It sure is tough being a Gnome in a human world. But I am on a learning curve now, so I just have to suck it up she says. 

These humans are feeling the heat these days. They look like they are melting in their chairs. Yesterday they wondered what a noise was that they both heard. On searching around the place, they didn't find anything. But, later in the evening, The Mistress went to the wardrobe to get something and Cor blimey she let out an "Oh heck". She was far from pleased but knew it would happen one day. His Lordship knew it would happen one day too because his thoughts were she had way too many clothes in her wardrobe. I don't think she agrees with this somehow, but her reply is "Yes dear". 

So, His Lordship has had to work out how to fix it cheaply. He is a handy Mr. Fix It to have around. He has lots of skills and she likes to give him small jobs to do, as it keeps him out of mischief. 

These humans have melted today. The rail is back up in the wardrobe and the Mistress has transferred everything back again and now she is stuffed she says. I heard her say that she had some empty coat hangers as some items were going to the charity shops. 

Now a birdie told me that there are a few people here in the village going out in the shuttle tonight. This must mean to celebrate the New Year tonight. The Mistress hasn't normally gone out at New Year before, but times have changed she says. I just hope they behave themselves. This means we have the house to ourselves!!!!!!

29/12/23

This is my second attempt as a poof, and I lost half a page. 

Now I am becoming like those I live with, a forgetful memory. Surely, I won't. This makes me very nervous. I do not want to become like a human. I forgot to report on an event that happened here yesterday. The Mistress was outside, and His Lordship was calling her to come in. She thought this was unusual that he didn't go out to her. Eventually, she went in to find His Lordship stretched out on the bathroom and passage floor. "OMG, are you OK". She was ready to call an ambulance, but a false alarm as he was fixing the bottom of the shower door. Phew!! All was well and she went off outside again to do her tidy-up. He just wanted her to see the new part he put in. She likes having a Mr. Fix It around the place. 

These humans went out today and we quickly went outside to cool off in the pool. Oh, but not me, I dislike water in all forms, so I found a shady spot. The other fellas enjoyed the splashing and there was hardly any room for everyone. At least they all cooled off and we were only just back inside and rushing to our places as we could hear the garage door go up. It's just too hot to rush today. I don't think the humans noticed we were still getting into our places. They were focused on putting their shopping down. 

The Mistress had a walk around outside, to inspect her handy work done yesterday, and did some weed-killing. 

The garden that the humans put the stinky stuff on.

28/12/23

Not much happened here this morning, but overnight was very interesting. His Lordship slept soundly and didn't hear the Mistress get up at about 1am. She was hungry and made some toast. She couldn't sleep and after reading for some time, she decided she would settle, and sure enough, she did. Dreamland appeared and all was well.

So now it is Gnome time, and out to that garage and check out Reider the fella who lights up at night. I wanted to check out what type of books this fella reads. Oh, heck I got a shock and it's not going down here what he reads. It is Gnome business only. Jeepers I doubt the Mistress really knows this information. I am so shocked that I didn't get around to asking what else he reads. We came away shocked and left him to it.

These humans took that stinky stuff in the garage outside to the garden. His Lordship loaded the shovel, and she placed it in the garden. Teamwork. They support each other's mobility needs. So, then His Lordship disappeared, and The Mistress got a chair and rested, but oh no rested while watering this stuff into the garden. Multi-tasking, she says. I would say a wise woman. 

The green bin needed filling as it was rubbish day, so The Mistress gathered up lots of leaves and generally had a working bee in the garden and edges. There was a lot of bending going on and she wondered what she would be like in the morning. His Lordship was on cooking duty tonight as she gave him instructions earlier. He is an interesting fella in the kitchen. He knows exactly what he is doing and through the window, The Mistress signaled a wine would be nice as he had his beer while cooking. He called it was ready and she waltzed in, and dinner and wine were on the table. She is not accustomed to having a man cook a meal, as previous fellas didn't do the cooking. Another reason why this relationship works.

27/12/23

 We had some of the Mistress's relatives here today. They have a little blonde girl who is very good at asking lots of questions and wants answers, but the answers she is given are always WHY. My goodness, she never gives up trying, but I guess at age four there are lots of questions. Gnomes have lots of questions too. I must remember to use the word WHY. Little humans can teach Gnomes a lot I feel but we don't see her very often.

The mother of this little human had given the daughter some strict instructions about the Gnomes at the Aunties house. She knew not to touch and at times the Mistress said only touch with your finger. Of course, going outside was a highlight. She saw Gnomes everywhere and wanted to touch all of them and said no you can't always meet with a why. "Why is that girl facing the fence." Because she is fed up with all these Gnomes and wants some peace and quiet. The Gnomes annoy her all the time. 

Through the night some of my mates went out to the garage to see what was next to be painted on her table. Oh heck, we got a huge fright. I guess this will teach us to be nosey. We jumped up on her table to be met with big eyes all lit up. What on earth is going on here.

A new Gnome reading a book.

I never ever thought I would see another Gnome reading a book like me, but here he is and today this little girl called him Reider. 

I wonder if he is allowed to stay inside. His light could be very handy for me, but I have a feeling that the Mistress sometimes gets that he will be going outside. Time will tell, I guess.

These humans went out this afternoon and as usual, we never know when they will return. Off we went back out to the garage and had a real good look around. We saw three huge bags of stinky stuff for the garden. Goodness only knows what she intends to do with this. I guess time will tell. On her bench are several small gnomes that have a new coat of paint, others waiting to be painted, and others in a bucket of water, and my guess is they will get that horrible brush in their ears and noses. That Mistress is pretty vigorous when using that brush. I watched her recently and am mighty glad I didn't get her treatment. My mate spotted some new brushes too. 

 

Back to our places on the shelves, we could talk while we waited for the humans to return home. Our plan is to watch out for that stinky stuff and see what she does with it. My hope is that my friends in the garden won't suffer from the stink.

 26/12/23

Oh, what fun we had here last night with these 2 new Gnomes that symbolize these two love birds. We were trying to explain what humans are about especially at this house. The fact that Father Christmas came to me they just could not grasp what we were talking about. They are a bit short in the brain department, but we will have them on our wavelength in a few more days. I am not saying here what these two humans are like because I could get into a heap of trouble. This is purely Gnome business only. 

These humans went out this afternoon, so we all jumped down and taught these new fellas how to play with the ping pong balls in the wheelbarrow. Jeepers these fellas are so useless. I can see it is going to take a while. I know His Lordship is shy and quiet, so don't tell me these are the same. Oh well, this might just take a bit longer for them to click on. 

His Lordship seems to be doing very well with his leg. He went for a walk without his crutches this morning. The Mistress is very proud of him. When they left this afternoon, I noted his crutches were still there. Crickey he is brave I would say. The Mistress believes he is a determined young man. He announced tonight that He hasn't taken any painkillers today, so even more progress I would say.

Tonight, at the dinner table I paid particular attention to the Mistress lighting a small candle in memory of His Lordship's daughter who died a few months ago. Yesterday was far too windy outside to put on the Christmas table. Trixie took note too and thought it was a good idea. The Mistress is a bit miffed as he didn't comment on her nice idea.

I will have to get these two new chums into reading my psychology books on understanding these humans. It has taken me a few years now, but I am still learning. 

Christmas Day 2023

We had so much fun last night with those new chaps. We raced around as fast as our legs would take us.  Some of them jumped in the pool as they had never done this before and a new experience. They were shocked to find fish in there wiggling around their noses. I shan't tell you what they said as this is only fit for Gnomes. 

We were back indoors by 1am just in case that large Father Christmas arrived at our house. At about 3am I felt sure I heard him land on the roof. We quickly closed our eyes and all these fellas here inside refused to believe he would visit our house. I told them he visited me last year, but no, they didn't want to know.

Father Christmas has been

The proof was loud and clear I say. Anyway, they closed their eyes and waited until the door shut behind him. My eyes opened and there was a mad scramble to get to the table and check my stocking. So much pushing and shoving was going on and jeepers some were very pushy. I read the riot act to them, and they were to give me space. I needed this to empty my stocking out and to see what was in it. 

First out was 2 Gnomes with their hands waving around. Goodness only knows why they did this, but I guess they were keen for some air. Then out rolled all these chocolate fish. I am very partial to these. It has been a long time since I had any of these and I am so grateful to have Father Christmas come and visit us. How can I thank him I ask? 

Look at the Contents of my stocking.

The Mistress assures me that his helpers will let him know. Gee, that is a good idea. Now as for these mates of mine, they were all gob-smacked at this carry-on. They had never heard of this before, and I had to explain about these human habits. They are all on a continuous learning cycle living in this place. As far as I know, this doesn't happen much at other homes with Gnomes. Gee, that makes me very privileged I would say.

These 2 humans were busy in the kitchen this morning. His Lordship was on cutting up roast beef and the Mistress was finishing putting the fruit salad together. Then the bubbly went into the chilly bin. I need to report that they did not take me with them today and I am most annoyed about this. 

It says

Grow old with me

the best is yet to come.

They arrived home with a gift for His Lordship, and he was pretty chuffed. The look on his face as he got it out of the box I shall always remember. The Mistress got him to choose where to put it and it had to be inside. Now they can both see it from their chairs.

Merry Christmas everyone.

 24/12/23

Only one more sleep until Father Christmas comes. Oh, it is exciting to see what he delivers tomorrow morning. Last year we were in Tauranga house sitting and the cat and dog got a parcel from Father Christmas. They must have been good too. 

The Mistress took the completed Gnomes that had finished being painted, outside this morning and placed them in the garden. Most people ask where you can find the room? She reckons there is always a place for a Gnome.

So tonight, we will head outside before our essential man visits, and check out these fellas. We will welcome them to our place and hope they will join in with the fun we have when no humans are watching. I saw there was more on her table in the garage ready to paint, plus some in a bucket of soapy water in the sink. I found her standing scrubbing their ears and the mouth and eye area. Man, that must have hurt when she scrubbed with that terrible brush. Now I don't do water in any shape or form. She really scrubbed with that brush. I found her using so much force it wasn't at all funny. These fellas just took it on the chin and didn't say anything, and if this was me, she would have heard about it that is for sure. Scrubbing the ears, what next, and what is a piece of dirt. So, Gnomes like dirt. The Mistress doesn't and this is where the problem lies. Why is she like this?  

Cleaning his ears.

Soapy water, oh yucky.

Tonight, she had a friend come for dinner, and they all seemed to enjoy each other's company. The Mistress loved the dessert, a black currant tart with walnuts on top and cream, which she and His Lordship really enjoyed. It is always nice when someone else decides what to make. The Wine too seemed to go down a treat.  The mains was a chicken breast wrapped in bacon with basil pesto, new potatoes, and salad. 

I better go and get my stocking sorted, while the Mistress has a shower. 

22/12/23

The Mistress does suffer with her back causing a lot of pain at times. Mornings are never good and while cooking dinner she let it be known that all was not good. She thought a glass of wine and a wheat bag may do the trick but only a little she says. So, what caused this problem tonight?  

She had been in the garage painting this afternoon, and a cup of tea and Christmas cake were brought out to the garage from His Lordship. A very welcome cup of tea she says.  She had painted eyes and eyebrows onto some Gnomes. All 10 of them got a spray to protect them from the weather. She is not steady you know. Her hand wobbles a lot, and some eyes are bigger than others. Please do not tell her this information; it might bust her bubble.

She put 3 large Gnomes that were finished painting and sprayed outside this morning. They are looking great out there with the other fellas. 

Ten more are ready to go outside tomorrow. Poo that stuff she sprays on them absolutely stinks. I am not at all impressed at all by this stink. "Quick I need a mask" Oh heck it is so horrible, and she is not listening to me. 

Now the wine she was on helped her back and caused her to go to sleep. His Lordship came out several times to find her asleep in her chair. She must have been so comfy and had a large wine in her special glass bucket. She likes that glass I have noted. I had better be careful here as I could get into a whole lot of trouble letting the cat out of the bag. I may have to start running!!

 21/12/23

The Mistress is a pleased young lady tonight and I am not talking about the glass of wine she has just consumed. We now have 15,000 hits on our blog. Absolutely amazing she says. Incredible news that we never thought for one minute that this would be so popular. His Lordship is pretty proud of her too. 

She got some new nail polish today and he made some lovely comments which pleased her. Unusual for a fella to make such comments so she is lapping this up from my observation here on the shelf. 

He is pretty happy here tonight too, because he went to the doctor and got some better pain relief for his knee. He also saw a physio and she put him through his paces. Even the neighbors are happy to see his progress while out walking. From my position and perfect hearing, he works on those exercises every hour. The Mistress says "No Pain no gain".

Now during the night some of us were wandering around the house and I came across a large bottle wrapped in a towel. What on earth is going on here. The towels are for the bathroom. Coke is for drinking. I stood there most of the night trying to figure this out. It wouldn't roll that was for sure. 

Keeping it warm maybe

Back on our shelf Trixie and I discussed this mind-boggling concern for the rest of the night. Are they keeping the Coke warm? Was the bottle leaking? A complete and utter mystery. It was in the bedroom and not the kitchen or bathroom. Mighty hard to sleep on too. Oh, I wish I knew more about this crazy situation.

Arh now I see why.

Gosh, this must hurt I would say. He might bust open the stitches if he pushes too hard. Then we would see the meat and blood. The Mistress could react if this happened, and it would upset her if it all spilled out over the bed. I doubt she would be happy about this. 

19/12/23

Tonight, I am a bit grumpy. You see I have not been allowed on this computer and this makes me very grumpy. She is mean you know that Mistress. Everything is on her terms. 

My mates and I have kept an eye on the progress of the workman in the Common area. They took that digger away, laid the fake grass. There was a lot of banging going on nailing the grass to the timber. It went on for ages giving me a headache. We really wanted to check out that digger again. The tools they used were useless for us as the dirt had been covered up. Instead, we raced round and round the trees, and playing tag. Those men today I understand have made a ramp for the oldies with mobility issues to get down onto the grass area. It's quite wide too, so plenty of room for walkers or sticks. I guess this means the Mistress as she is far from stable on her feet. 

She went out this morning and was away all morning. I kept an eye on his Lordship. He is still in pain and cannot get comfortable. Sometimes he is wrestles and other times he nods off laying on the bed. It is about the only place he can get comfortable. The Mistress noted he only had not walked down the drive today, so she shunted him out the door and on his way. 

It appears at this appointment today she is not having surgery as she is a high-risk, whatever that means. They want to see if this foot heals on its own, and if not then they can operate in a few months.  

Looks like Christmas is coming, as a friend popped in this afternoon for a piece of cake. They always enjoy a chatty catch up. Then later she turned the living area upside down, as they had visitors bringing dinner over, and needed to re arrange the table and chairs. Another Christmas catch up she announces, and the food was a great hit. His Lordship was outnumbered with three females and only himself. Oh well we will see what tomorrow brings. 

17/12/23

Overnight we had a ball. We snuck outside and over to that digger and all the dirt. We climbed up and sat on the seat and saw all the knobs and leavers. Goodness knows how they drive this thing. There is no steering wheel. How come they ask. We took turns sitting on the seat, and some of my mates perched in the digger buckets. They left some tools out, so we checked them out and had a dig in the dirt. It took 4 of us to carry each tool as they were so long. Hard work for a Gnome.

Staggering back home was a mission. I was all dirty and hosed myself and some others down, to get rid of the evidence. That Mistress would have plenty to say if she saw any dirt around. I dislike water in all forms and rocked the drips away in the wind.

She has been swamped in the garage again, painting gnome faces and beards. From what I could see she got more paint on herself than them. Standing back to admire them she sees they now have some characters developing. From my understanding, she gets a buzz from this, and before completely finishing she goes to the garden to find more that need a spruce up. So, they got a wash ready for painting another day. 

His Lordship is getting around better today. He is putting more weight on his sore leg without realizing it. He came out tonight without his crutches and the Mistress is so proud of him. I have even supervised the exercises being done and doing really well from a mere Gnome perspective. They do tire him out though and needs to rest often, but the Mistress says this is all part of recovery.

Now something very amazing is he hasn't even had a drop of alcohol for over 2 weeks now. The Mistress checked him out in case he was ill. The other night she was going to have a wine but didn't like to have one without him having his brown stuff. 

Awe that is so cute and must be love. He was cooking the steak duty tonight, as there is a stool in the kitchen for those who are struggling with their mobility. The Mistress had the vegetables sorted and it is a team effort. They do everything as a team these two.

Someone outside was making a terrible noise tonight. The sun disappeared and dark stormy clouds loomed then a huge rolling thunder deafened our ears. Trixie had to hide as she found it very scary. It rained very heavily to the delight of the Mistress. This meant the lawns got watered. She likes them green but dislikes the water bills so relies on the rain.

16/12/23

Jeepers we thought that these humans had lost the plot last night before going to bed. They left the door open, and the screen door locked because it was a hot night. I thought it was because Father Christmas was coming and needed to get in. It appears it's only the 16th and more sleeps to be had. They tell me that if it's cold on Christmas Eve the door will not be open. His Lordship feels the cold and the door is firmly locked by him a short time ago.

The Mistress had a Christmas Village lunch to go to today. His Lordship and I kept an eye on her house and l stayed out of mischief. She left his lunch out, and he was mighty pleased about this. The Mistress was also into the wine today. Due to her mobility and not driving she was offered a large or small wine and of course, she said large as it was to save her coming back to the bar!

This afternoon she went out to the garage to continue painting Gnomes. I was allowed to watch today, and she put blue paint on my boots accidentally. I let out a roar and suggested she clean it immediately. My boots are black, and I do not want a color change. 

It is about time she did a roll call on these blokes, to see if any have escaped lately. There are quite a few on this table for a start. Also, 2 are on the garage floor just having had some clear lacquer applied to protect from the weather. I just hope she doesn't spray that stuff on me as it stinks. Trixie was coughing and spluttering like crazy and wasn't impressed with the stink either.

Oh, heck this computer is misbehaving again. I wish it didn't do this print size change. My eyes can't see small print to go over and check this. I dare not ask somebody to sort this.

This morning some fellas turned up with a digger and played with the stones in the common area here in the village. They were here before anyone was up. They dug an area out and going to lay fake grass to make the area better for people who are not at all steady on their feet. The residents here often take a cupper out there and have a laugh or two under the trees. Everyone here is so chuffed and cannot wait until its finished in the next couple of days. 

We will go and check this area out tonight when the humans go to sleep. They left the digger there too. Hmmm, this could get interesting for us fellas. 

15/12/23

Hey, the Mistress slept in today. His Lordship thought he was never going to get his breakfast. She should know by now that she must not keep a man waiting. This is the worst thing she can do. She waltzes out eventually trying to make up for her delay. He very politely said, "Don't worry my darling there is no hurray". Awe how cute is this. What a man she has found. I reckon he is a keeper, and I know they are both very happy with each other. 

This pain problem for His Lordship doesn't seem to stop. He tried phoning his own medical center and come 6pm they closed and still no script. The Mistress is far from impressed at their service. Now he has to wait until next week. Her suggestion of going down to our local doctor wasn't taken up. He may regret this. 

This afternoon the Mistress went out to the garage to continue her Gnome painting. His Lordship was most impressed at what she achieved today. These fellas are some that she bought that people no longer wanted and are quite old and wrinkly now, just like old humans. Gee, I better be careful here. Don't tell her this for goodness's sake. I could get into some serious trouble here. 

Her diary is rather full next week, and she is writing everything down, so she doesn't forget. It's the countdown until Christmas and so much is happening. I can't wait to hang up my stocking again.

His Lordship went outside walking to the end of the drive several times yesterday for his exercise and to get that knee working. He does different exercises on his bed too and others while sitting in his chair. His face changes too I have noticed. Then he needs a lie down to recover. Peace and quiet for the Mistress.!!

Doing his exercises

As it got darker the Mistress took a photo of a mate over their on the window ledge. 

He is an interesting fella and nothing like the rest of us. During the day he is always dull and boring and won't join in on anything we do when the humans are not around. He wakes up at night and creates havoc sometimes, but I shan't let on here, because this is Gnome business. 

These humans don't go out these days as neither can drive that car. So, there is not anything we can do in daylight hours these days. I can get fed up reading my books all day, but I don't miss a thing that goes on here either. They think I sleep too and wouldn't see everything, but I have news for them!!

14/12/23

 Thankfully it was a quieter night for these humans. His Lordship requested an extra pillow which was offered days ago and got a much better sleep. I think he has finally realized that Mistress knows a thing or two!! She is keeping an eye on him though as he is a little pale she feels. His tummy and old age may be reacting to the anesthetic she feels and this foreign metal piece the doctor put into the knee where they chopped up some bone may be resisting. Now this is a complicated piece of information for a mere Gnome. The Mistress has suggested I consult my medical books. It would be much easier if she explained this to me. She is far too busy she claims.  

I have just heard them talking and they are going to phone the hospital tomorrow and possibly go to a doctor to clarify things. He needs stronger pain relief that doesn't upset his tummy. 

There is some progress too. This morning I was just sitting here on the shelf, and I watched his Lordship put both his socks on. It really was an education watching this major activity. His face was a mixture of expressions that I never knew a human could do. Some grunting and sweating were going on, and best of all he achieved this all by himself. The Mistress is mighty proud of him too. 

Now she checks his temperature from time to time in case an infection decides to join this picnic. 

More progress on these books today. All is going really well she says. Just a shame Christmas is nearly here and no time to capture the market. I am sure she will have something up her sleeve. 

13/12/23

His Lordship is a bit fed up with this pain issue in his knee. Not a lot of sleep was had in this house last night. This meant the Mistress too. This poor man doesn't appear to know what to do with his leg as he cannot get, comfortable. Some of those pills are not good for him and decided today to not take them again. He is enjoying the Mistress running after him, and rightly so. It is payback. 

A different carer came here today to shower the Mistress and do some chores. It was interesting watching her go about the vacuuming. Each person has their own style. A very friendly young lady who also assisted the Mistress in remaking the bed with clean sheets. 

This afternoon I watched the Mistress jamming a thermometer in his mouth. "What on earth is she doing I ask." She wondered through the night if he had an infection as he was extremely hot and almost burning. So, she located it and was happy with the outcome. I have been directed to my medical books to find out what this tool is all about. 

Between the two of them today they took out another layer in the moon boot, as directed in the hospital notes. Now tonight she is having some issues with this leg/foot and may end up putting it back in again. 

What is going on with this thing again. It has a mind of its own and I don't like it mucking around with the settings or something. They could just leave it alone and let me get on with this. 

His Lordship enjoys her cooking and eats a better meal tonight. She is very pleased about this. His family is checking in too as to how he is going and some of them are extremely cheeky. They are not slow at coming through with wise cracks and causing heaps of laughter. 

 12/12/23

Not a lot to report here today, but we had lots of very strange noise this morning and it got very dark. I thought it must have been nighttime and I was terribly confused. The Mistress turned the lights on. At some points, I ducked for cover under Trixie here beside me. What on earth was going on here. The floor wasn't moving but the noise really got to me. The Mistress informed us it was pouring with rain and thunder and the lightning storm had hit us. Crickey, I knew something had, that was for sure. 

His Lordship was resting on the bed, and he was cold, so more cover was required. The temperature dropped pretty rapidly and the terrible noise too eventually. This poor fella seems to be terribly uncomfortable at times and doesn't know where to put himself. I note though he is still quite cheeky at times and has lots of banter going on. 

This afternoon he had a shower with the Mistress's help to get in and then to dry him. He had learned to use the crutches thank goodness. The last thing we need around here is more injuries. 

The Mistress's Son up in Hamilton seems to have scored some well-deserved Trophies for those little radio-controlled cars. Now on our holiday, the Mistress took me to see him racing these cars. I remember very well all the dust these small cars laid on me. I was choking on this stuff, and this was very rude of him not to consider me and my health. His words at the time were for me to "harden up little man". What a jolly cheek I thought. This fella is very tall and was controlling these cars from up high well above the dust. 

He has since built a special trailer for taking to racing days and all the gear he needs has a place, I believe eventually he will sleep in this too.  A very capable fella with his Kiwi ingenuity I would say. 

Above his Trophies and Trailer, he built

                       Me about to be covered in dust.

Oh, I recall this day well. He blew up a couple of motors. He has been racing these cars for years now, and probably many years to come. It's in his blood he says.

 11/12/23

Sleeping was a mission last night for these humans. They swapped sides to sleep as the Mistress didn't want her Moon Boot to crash into his very sore knee. They are not used to this sleep position and can't sleep. Eventually, when all went quiet, I got these fellas here to gather around, so we could discuss this hospital kitchen and the surgery on the chopping board on His Lordship's knee. Firstly, he preferred to go to sleep, whereas I would have stayed awake. Hmm, I guess they would get a very sharp knife and cut open the area of his pain. Humans bleed where Gnomes don't, so someone would do the mopping up. 

That wheelbarrow fella reckons the dogs would have been around to lick up the blood on the floor. Conserving the clothes to wash. They like blood I hear. The problem he says was under the kneecap and it was full of arthritis. They must have chopped this next area with an axe as they put a new metal hinge in so the knee could bend. Hinges have to be screwed in place I believe. Oh, I wish I could see this being done. Screws are quite long so this would take some doing!! The piece they threw away, did they give it to the local dogs. They like a bone to chew. Oh, heck this is so complicated for a mere Gnome. I wish he stayed awake to tell me exactly the details. After all, I am here to learn from these humans.

He said he woke up in a recovery room and all these lovely nurses were fussing over him. They were mighty glad he woke up, as he would have slept all day. Texting the Mistress was first on his agenda. Then other family members later on. 

His Lordship tries ringing his bell at times, usually when he knows she has just sat down for a well-deserved rest. I can hear him laughing when he does this on purpose. He is pretty cheeky this fella. His face is a real picture when he completes his exercises. He huffs and puffs too. Must be pain the Mistress announces. He calls for heavier pain relief while resting on his bed. 

I take a good look at this situation on his bed and try and see if I can improve this pain. Unfortunately, my services weren't required, and only pills would do the job.

Checking out the Patient.

They had to be the right pills too, as some were making him feel unwell. 

Tonight, the Mistress's brother called in and brought fish and chips, so she didn't need to cook. Of course, he had to check out these 2 invalids. It had been a while, and he is a very busy fella running a business and a lot to catch up on. She always enjoys their catchups, and their time always flies she says. 

10/12/23

Now I have been wondering what His Lordship did while this chopping and cutting of his meat was going on. The animals or birds in our bench are very dead when the Mistress gets stuck into the meat on the chopping board. Did he sit and watch? I wonder. I can't really get my head around this. Maybe he went to sleep. I shall ask him when he gets home. 

His Lordship has appeared with his daughter. My goodness, he is a bit wobbly on his feet. I hope he passed his license to drive those crutches. I tried to look at the wound, but it was covered up to stop infection from getting in. 

I checked out with His Lordship whether he watched this meat-chopping operation. Did they use a saw for the bones, or did they use an axe? His reply was that they put him to sleep, oh he missed it all. I would have stayed awake. I find this process fascinating, and he chose to sleep. Maybe he will stay awake when he gets his other leg done because I really do want to know these facts about humans.

He is full of demands and wants everything now. The Mistress has a bell, but she better not give it to him because I can see him constantly ringing it. She has to return the care she received because he looked after her before. Now if she goes in for surgery and he is still on crutches, life here could get really interesting. She announced that we will cross that bridge when we get to it. There is no point in worrying now, as it is a waste of energy. Gosh, she is a wise woman.

His shower tonight had the Mistress on her toes. He thought he would get in without crutches. Her suggestion was no you will need the crutches. He soon learned she was right. She has rails in there, but the crutches were best until he was closer to the rails. 

His Lordship had ice cream and jelly for dinner in the hospital and was miffed that it wasn't being served tonight as this is not a hotel either. Gee, that was very mean I thought. But she says what passes the lips stays on the hips.

9/12/23

Just as well the Mistress doesn't see what we get up to all night. I cannot say too much here for fear of her reading this. She was fast asleep, and we got into the spare room and had high jinks on and under the bed for those of us who could fit. It's a bit tight you see for me, but the tiny fellas got hold of the ping pong balls and they were bouncing everywhere. We pushed the door closed so she wouldn't hear the noise. 

Today the Mistress got in there and tidied up all sorts of stuff. She sat down a lot too as needed to rest a lot. His Lordship comes home tomorrow, and she feels having the spare bed made up was a great plan in case either of them needed more space. She is a bit worried about his knee, and getting it bumped during the night. 

He rang three times this morning, and I reckon he is missing her. She said that he had been promoted to using crutches today and even managed to shower himself. This is quite an achievement apparently.  She is so proud of him too as he is doing his exercises really well. He is still in pain, but this is only temporary.  Now I can't wait to see this rather large wound and see what all this fuss is about. The bandage came off it today for the world to see. I wonder how they went about this operation. I should have been there to supervise and to learn something. You see I am known for my supervision as I learn a lot from the Mistress. 

She is good at chopping up meat and bones on our bench, and what she doesn't want she chucks out, so my guess is they would do the same at this big kitchen in the hospital. What part did they chuck out I wonder? I believe they put a new part in too. So, I wonder where they chuck their rubbish. My guess is they give it to the hungry animals at the zoo. Yummy I expect. 😂😂😂

8/12/23

The Mistress was on the ball this morning, and up before the alarm went off. Her Carer to shower her came early so she could go and see His Lordship.  Her duties were done, and she had to get her own breakfast today. Now she did this hard as this is normally her darling's job. They had been texting early to see how he was and loads of pain was obvious and a total of 15 pills were swallowed. He is not known for taking so many and the Mistress asked if he rattled. It appears there is a pill for almost everything these days. Sounds crazy to me. I wonder if he takes more than the Mistress. She has dozens, because yesterday I watched her filling her little trays. They were almost full up. I want to know how each one knows where to go. 

Grrr what happened here. This thing has a mind of its own.

While the Mistress was having her breakfast there was a commotion outside. She looks out the window to see a dozen birds fighting over a couple of old scones she threw out. The noise was deafening. I went over to the door as it was open.

The locals eating old scones.

  Watching the birds.

Her friend took Mistress to the hospital, and it sounded like they were mighty pleased to see each other. He appeared full of cheek and slinging off to his daughter too. They inspected his knee and a bag of ice seemed to help the swelling. He won't be running anytime soon she reckons and is due home on Sunday. 

I understand she will be running after him for a long time as she wants to pay him back for all he did for her. Isn't love grand?

This book business is coming along nicely and a tear or two appeared this afternoon. It has all become a reality now and she has waited a very long time. I must tell you that I heard her tell her friend that she would like a movie made. Goodness only knows how this could happen, but no harm in dreaming I suppose. Apparently, one has to put it out there to the universe and positive attracts positive. 

Now I reckon the Mistress is nuts. What a statement this is. Who told her this. I have never heard such crazy and bizarre stuff before. Is it a full moon I say.!!

7/12/23

 A Gnome life with these humans can be challenging around here. It is just not easy for us to have the opportunities that we used to have for doing our Gnome business. These humans don't go out so much these days and The Mistress doesn't go down to the caravan in Ashburton, because of her Moon boot. She says the steps are very difficult to negotiate. Crickey, we don't want any falls and more injuries around this place.  I just couldn't bear any more mobility issues around here. His Lordship had his surgery early this morning, and he will come home on crutches for sure. 

The Mistress will have to run after him now as a payback for him looking after her. No doubt she will cope hobbling around this small place with her walker, which she calls her Rolls Royce. I wonder what he will call his sticks...... chopsticks maybe???

They were awake bright and early this morning and the birds had only just risen at 5 30am. I reckon he couldn't sleep, but that is another matter. He is so lucky to have a daughter here in Christchurch, as she took him to hospital. The Mistress announces she is only allowed to drive her sewing machine!!!

 4/12/23

It is a cruisy life here today. Nobody is rushing around, and all is quiet. Even the phone is quiet, which makes a change. These humans went out this afternoon. As usual no indication as to how long they would be, so as soon as they left, most of my gnome mates got together and had races around the house and hiding. Some of us can fit under the bed. The barrel fella rolled around behind the door, and nobody could find him. We had a great time running around the house.

5/12/23

Hey, she kicked me off the computer yesterday and I wasn't allowed back on. Goodness only knows why. She is a bossy thing sometimes you know. 

Today they have been out for a while, so the rest of us gathered outside by the pool. The fella in the boat splashed water all over us with his Ore. We were not impressed. I have a dislike for water in all forms and was far from impressed. Some of my mates had a real dunking too. The sun wasn't that hot for us to dry off either. 

These humans came home before we were ready so a mad scramble to get back to our places. Just as well it took them a while to come in after we heard the car up the driveway. They stopped and spoke to the neighbor then His Lordship had the job of carrying the supermarket inside. The Mistress announces that Christmas is coming and from Thursday nobody here can drive for a few weeks.   My goodness I lost count of the number of bags coming inside. They just kept coming, and I did notice some plonk coming in too. They are quite partial to this fancy liquid too. Now we have been warned to keep our hands off it for some reason. I may have forgotten as to why though. I shall have to think about this and discuss it later when they go to sleep. 

Speaking of sleep, his Lordship is counting the days down for his surgery on Thursday. His daughter is taking him to the hospital as the mistress can't drive in her moon boot. But she can drive the sewing machine she says. His new pajamas needed an adjustment that only a sewing machine, could do. Well, his Lordship was pretty worried about these pins she put in as he had to try them on before she began. The look on his face was pretty spectacular I can tell you. I wouldn't trust her at all if it was my trousers. Enough said because I could get into trouble here.

3/12/23

 His Lordship arrived yesterday, ready for his longer stay to recover from his forthcoming surgery. The Mistress is supposed to look after him. Now tell me how this is going to happen when she has one leg already out of action, and possibly surgery for her too this week. I cannot possibly get my head around this situation.

The Mistress announces that I will have to step in here and help them. That will be the day I say. Just who do they think they are. This is not Gnome's business. What a cheek she has. I will supervise from my position on the wall unit. I can see everything that goes on here, and I have spies in different positions around the place and keep me up to date if I miss something. 

Today the wheelbarrow fella at the front door watched the Mistress out in the garden this afternoon. She perched on an outside chair at the door took plants out and put plants in that they bought earlier today. Why take plants out I ask then put others in. I do not understand this human logic. 

I have some mates out in that garden, so I will check out with them what she is doing. My mate said she has a very long trowel and when she is sitting, she can reach all sorts of places. She even used it to lift out this white fluffy stuff called Alyssum. He couldn't understand why she took out some plants but left the ones around the edge. 

Asking the Mistress to explain this logic was quite a mission. Having white around the borders and color at the middle and back of the garden would make a nice display. Like the lovely gardens, we saw while we were on our holiday. Oh well, I suppose she must know what she is doing. She reckons in a couple of weeks we will see the results of the planting today. 

Another mate from around by the bins watched her plant parsley and mint too. Now I know that humans eat this stuff. They add flavor she says. 

Another task she did outside was to water the garden and pots from her chair. She has this well under control from a comfy position and taking care of her leg.

Earlier today she summoned His Lordship to assist her in cleaning the outside windows. She followed behind him and hosed them down from her chair. She is not known for sitting inside when there are things to do outside on a sunny day. These humans work well as a pair, and a team she says.