16/6/23

There is a lot of texting going on around here. I have not known the mistress to be so active on her phone. I bet it is her fella as she is often laughing to herself. She even saw him on her phone last night. This technology is beyond me. 

She went out this morning and announced she wouldn't be long. It appears her eyes are not doing their job and needed them checked. Sure enough, she now has to see the specialist and have some laser treatment. One eye has some junk on the Len's she says. Gosh, she might see too much after this. This could be a real problem for us because some of us don't always make it to our possies and have to wait until she is not looking. There have been a few narrow squeaks at times. It's a tough life being a Gnome around here you know. 

This afternoon we heard her outside scratching the concrete. Whatever for I ask. She says there are lots of leaves off the Neighbour's tree and they looked awful. What she doesn't realize is my mates like playing in those leaves. So, she has now spoiled their fun. The mistress likes the place to be tidy, especially for the oldies that come to visit and have a natter with a cupper. 

She was making a Hur of a noise I can tell you. It must have been very cold out there as she even put a coat on. It's a pity she didn't leave her coat for the fellas in the pool. They have done more ice skating in recent days and some even came a cropper.

The old Auntie has been in the wars again. She came a cropper while hanging the washing and now it hurts to laugh. Ouch cracked ribs I hear. This Auntie has a lot of falls you know. This old age is no fun at all she says. Now that Uncle of hers wants a scooter. I could do with one of those you know. The local postie here has a special scooter and boy they race along quite fast. I hope he knows what he is doing because I hear the mistress's mother had one too, and sometimes she was quite naughty, but as she was a female human, they think they know it all. We, fellas, wouldn't dream of misbehaving. The granddaughter says the posties are Gnomes on wheels as they wear hats, but are yellow.

The mistress has just had one of those special phone calls where she can see this bloke. Blowing kisses, oh yuk, what next.

Now she is going out tonight, to some dance and promised to behave herself to this fella. He is now down south ready to duck shoot tomorrow. How cruel I say. What the heck are they going to do with these so-called dead ducks I want to know. The mistress says they have to shoot correctly, or the duck gets away. It appears they will cook and eat them. What a strange thing this is. A mere Gnome has never heard of such a crazy thing.