7/6/23

I'm HOME

This kind lady called Elizbeth; well, she was quite happy for me to stay here really. You see, she thought I could teach her Gnome a thing or two about these strange humans. She has a nice house and garden where I spent lots of time outside and kept checking that the fish hadn't been swiped by the neighbor's cat. He always looked as if he could do with a feed, as he licked his lips many times. He even looked at me and kept on walking and just as well because he causes me to be anxious as he sniffs and snorts on his way past me.

Well, the neighbor here went to school and the same class as my mistress. They even got called each other's names as if they were twins. Crickey they are old girls now I say. And Elizabeth is even much older than these two. Jeepersssss that's really old!!!!!

A Gnome never discusses their age. It's Gnome business only.

I wonder if her son has taught her anymore about life? 

Now the indignity of it all. I'm being put in a box to go home. I asked why I could not go on the Inter City coach like the bear did only to be told the bear was a passenger. Just when I was beginning to take a liking to Elizabeth, she is going to shove me in a box, and I thought she was a Gnome friend...........mmmmm. Tomorrow is posting day. Sending shivers down my spine it does. However, she has promised not to put me in there until the last minute and I should be home no later than 2 days. If I behave, she will overnight me......I ask you....... I thought it was another night here but am informed I will sleep most of my travels away and be home before I know it. 

Oh well, that will teach me not to yell at the mistress as she walked out the door. 

Tell me, how is a Gnome meant to breathe in that stuffy box? She had packed stuff up my nose around my eyes and everywhere else and in between. It appears she didn't want me to break, break........oh then I would get laid to rest like the mistress's mother. You know get planted in the ground I mean. Now that really would be sad. I would miss the mistress and my mates. 

Arrh being put in a box

I can't even read in this horrible box.  Not enough air in there I am sure to die.

Oh heck now we are moving, and I can't see a thing. What's happening to me? I hear people talking then I get tossed somewhere. 

Moving, again and I hear a motor going and more people talking and the radio blasting out with a shocking noise. Help....help. Watch it I am in here. What on earth happened then. Felt like someone plonked or thrown down on me. I am precious cargo you know. Didn't that Elizabeth woman put me into the precious cargo department? It sure doesn't feel like it. 

How can I meditate or visualize when all this turmoil is going on. Oh, I wish I was home. That mistress is in big trouble. I can't trust her to remember me if she ever puts me in her car again and take me somewhere, then put me in the car again. She has sure broken my trust and I doubt I will ever get over this. I might need some counseling for PTSD. 

I am on the move again and hear a doorbell. 

Yippeeee your back Winkle, oh it's the mistress's voice I hear. 

Help get me out of here I can't breathe

That woman shoved me into this box

How dare she.

Get me out of here, quick I can't breathe. Oh, she is taking her time. For goodness' sake hurry up woman. A bloke needs to breathe. I need the scissors, she announces, what on earth for I ask. Just be patient. Arrhh I have lost my patients now get on with opening this jolly box. 

Well, she takes her time and suddenly the box burst open. Hello, she says, and welcome home. How dare you leave me down in Waimate. How could you forget to take me home with you?  Look she says I just did. Everyone makes mistakes she announces. What I don't for goodness's sake. I am perfect and you should know this. Absolutely not she says.  You wouldn't wash while we were away, and I could smell your BO every day. I should have left you on the side of the road to find your own way home. 

Oh gee, I really do need counseling. The mistress has given me a huge headache now. So, we have both made mistakes and now she has just asked me to forgive her......!!!!

This mistress has just given me a big cuddle and apologized to me. Then she announced she has a surprise for me. Awe I like surprises.

She put me on the shelf where I normally sit and there is a woman Gnome sitting beside me. What's your name I ask? Trixie, she says. Nice to meet you. 

Who on earth is this for goodness sake?

At long last I am home. I never want to go through this again. Trixie, you wouldn't believe what I have been through to get back home, but I am sure glad you are sitting beside me now. I reckon we will get on really well sitting here. I will teach you all about female humans. They are all trouble I say. Strange things go on in this house and I shall fill you in later when the mistress goes to bed. Sounds like fun she announces. I would use a different word I feel.